"...And though she is gone, her spirit will live with us forever. In our hearts, and in our minds..."
The sermon seemed to drag on for hours. Because Tyler and I were generally the people who were closest to Ashley, we were persuaded (to say we were forced would be more realistic) to sit in the front most row. And there I was, my fists clenched so tight I could feel my own pulse.
Tyler's jaw was clenched and his body was drawn close together tensely. His left hand gripped the edge of his chair tightly, his other hand weaving through his hair. I placed my hand on his shoulder and nodded at him as if to say "We'll get through this." But Ashley's death was taking a brutal toll on Tyler. He was too afraid to sleep anymore, and he barely ate a quarter of each of his daily meals. He had shrunk down, similar to when I first met him.
I nudged him with my elbow. "Hey," I whispered, "let's get out of here."
"But we're in the very front. Everyone will see us."
"No, Tyler. I mean out of here. Out of this place."
His eyes shot open wide. "What?"
"I mean it."
He glanced over as if to make sure nobody had heard me. He seemed appalled at my suggestion, and his eyes were practically vibrating in his head. "But how? We'd get caught. We wouldn't make it two blocks."
The bell's shrill cry rang through the hall, signaling that the ceremony was over. Tyler and I stayed behind to discuss our plan. "What if I told you had, y'know, sorta maybe swiped keys from a supervisor?"
I dangled them in front of his face, smirking. "Some supervisor," Tyler laughed. "But how do we know which one lets us out of here?"
I ran my finger over the ridges of grooves of the keys before setting in my palm. "I guess we'll find out. But these keys can unlock any and every door in this facility. Like the one to the fire escape."
"Melanie, you're a genius."
"I have my ways."
"But what gave you the idea to do this now?"
I sighed, dropping the ring of keys in the pocket of my flannel and cupping my hands between my thighs. Truth be told, I hadn't felt any better since I was admitted here and I felt like they were too lazy to even try to treat me. After a month, they just stopped calling me to therapy. What kind of mental hospital does that? That definitely shows the level at which this hospital functions.
I'd had enough. I'd been thinking about escaping for months, and Ashley's death was the breaking point. I had to get out, out of the stench of vomit and sweat, out of the blank stares and stark white walls, sheets- everything, really. Everything was white. That made the environment even more bleak than it already was. I just wanted to feel the sun on my face, the wind on my skin, and I wanted to see Patrick. I wanted to see my mother. I hadn't spoken to her for months.
"There's more out there for us. Nothing is gonna change as long as we're here."
"You're right. Let's do it."
"I was thinking after lunch... But it seems like we have enough leeway to do it now. Everyone will be in the dining hall. We can get up to the 3rd floor now, as long as we're quiet."
I squeezed his hand as we approached the spiraling staircase, my heart throbbing intensely as this was the first time I had colored outside the lines and done something forbidden in all laws. We drifted up the stairs to the third floor, already breathless. I looked up, and there it was, beckoning to me at the end of the hall, a tiny sliver of light peeking out from the gap between the floor and the door, arching over my shoes as I stepped towards the door and reached for the keys.
I thumbed through the keys, spotting a small, square shaped bronze key with the tiny letters FE carved into its dull surface.
"I think this is it," I said. The key slid easily into the slit. I turned it to the right until my ears pined to the satisfying click. I pulled the door open, my heart drifting into my esophagus. The white sunlight pulled me into its clutches. My feet landed on the fire escape platform. A zigzag flight of stairs climbed all the way down behind the building.
I beamed at Tyler. "This is it!" I pulled the door shut and we began down the stairs, our feet hitting the steps with a cold metallic echo. "Let's run," I whispered, quickly whipping my head around to check if anyone was following us, but luckily the door was sealed shut as I had left it. Our feet landed on the pavement with the solid thud.
"We made it," Ty smiled. "But now what?"
"Let's go grab a burger. But we'd better walk away a few blocks so it's not too obvious. And thank god they finally let us wear normal clothes."
"Amen."
