Conflict of Interest

Chapter Ten

Carrie

As someone who came from a family of wealthy lawyers and politicians, I had trouble finding anyone intimidating.

As a child, authority was a foreign concept. Sure, at home I shut up and shut up good because that was what I was taught to do. But outside of that context, I had trouble seeing anyone as a superior. A thousand therapists could have analyzed me and told me that I thought I was better than everybody else because I came from money and influence, and maybe that was true. But I couldn't help where I came from, or the fact that a teacher telling me what to do at school bore little impact on my life. I didn't get into trouble, really, but I had few reservations about bitching out any staff member that was out of line, and why? Probably because I could have just as well said, "My mother could easily have you put in prison, and my father could buy and sell you," completely truthfully, and that probably would have been the end of that.

And that snobbishness that I learned in childhood really did carry on throughout my life. True, I learned how to deal with people in a less ridiculously supercilious way as time wore on, but the intimidation factor was just never there. I danced through life with the motto, "Well I'm Carrie fucking Everett," as though that could get me everywhere, but with the right attitude and enough conviction, I learned it truly can.

However, aside from my parents there was one person in my life who could absolutely scare me shitless any day of the week, and that was DA Carter.

I knew that the DA liked me, but I also knew that that had absolutely nothing on God's green earth to do with my personality. He liked me because I was a good attorney who took on far more cases than she had to, who was never late a day in her life, who had no reservations about camping out in the office overnight if need be, and, as an added bonus, always kept her office clean.

So when I had a favor to ask - and this wasn't a frequent occurence - I felt the foreign sensation of intimidation because I knew that he wasn't likely to want to oblige. People oblige other peoples' favors when they like that person for them, because they want to keep that person happy. When you like someone just because she's good at her job, you don't care whether she's happy, sad, or suicidal. 

I stood outside Carter's door for a good three minutes, almost getting up the courage to knock about forty times, and retreating my hand every time. This is ridiculous, I kept telling myself. You go above and beyond every day. You can tell him you need one night off. But the postive self talk didn't do much for me, at least, not enough to build the courage to go in there and get it done.

Another attorney walked by me in the hall and stared, bewildered, for a few seconds.

"Hey, Everett," he greeted, looking me up and down in confusion. "You stuck?"

"No, I am not stuck," I argued pettily, coming very close to sticking my tongue out. I sighed after a few moments and admitted, "I'm just scared to go in there."

That idea made him laugh more than the idea of me being stuck had. "You? Scared?"

"What, you're not scared of Carter?"

"Not scared enough to stand outside his office for..." he looked down at his watch, then back at me. "Three minutes and forty seven seconds."

"You were timing me?"

"Fifty one. Fifty two."

I just rolled my eyes and resumed my post standing outside the door and not going in.

"Okay," he shrugged, beginning to walk by me. "Have a good day, Everett."

"Yeah," I managed. "You too."