Conflict of Interest

Chapter Forty

Jenn

I couldn't believe, as I watched Kim's girlfriend - fiancée, whatever - walk out of the precinct, that Kim didn't follow. I couldn't conceive how you could say you loved someone, talk about marrying someone, and then let her walk away when she's standing there telling you that she's ready to be put first.

Grace had never been first for Kim, but until now, she'd been able to settle for second. And Kim didn't seem ready to move her up the list any time soon.

"Are you going to go after her?" I questioned in total disbelief.

"I'm going to let her cool off."

"You're making it worse. She wants your attention and you're still refusing to give it to her."

"She's not the victim this time around, Carver. Everyone's at fault."

"It doesn't matter if she's the victim. She's your fiancée."

"You're making it sound like she's yours."

I sighed heavily, and deciding that at least someone had to do the right thing in this situation, I followed Grace out the door. Kim didn't try to stop me, not that I hadn't expected as much.

"Hey," I tried saying once I was outside and getting rained on. "She really does love you, you know."

"I'm sick of being played, Jennifer," she said. "I've been competing with her for the past two years, and I will be for the rest of my life."

"With Kim?"

"With Carrie."

I laughed slightly because I didn't know what else to do. "We're all competing with Carrie, but she's generally harmless."

"Harmless?"

"Well, you know, she has her days, but..."

"She tore apart my relationship once, and now I wonder every single day if she's going to do it again. That's not healthy, Jenn."

"Tore it apart?"

"You don't know?"

My blank expression was answer enough.

"Oh my God," she said, completely incredulously. "She never told you."

"Told me what?"

Her face read indignation, like her words were some last ditch attempt to hurt Kim, or maybe to hurt Carrie, the way they both had offended her. When she spoke, she spoke quickly, sharply, like she had to get them out fast or she'd lose the nerve.

"They used to sleep together."

I felt like all at once all the air outside had been taken away and I had to find some alternate way to breathe. The previous night I'd fractured bones and this still hit me harder.

"At least for you it was before you were in the picture," she continued. "I'd already fallen in love with Kim when she decided she'd rather be with her."

"She chose you," I tried justifying.

"She chose me out loud," she corrected. "Inside, she chose Carrie the day they met. And I've known that for a long time, and I've just been telling myself that I'd won. But I never did."

"Grace..."

"So that show I just put on in there? I hope you understand where it came from. I don't like to fight with her, but I can't help myself. When you're face to face with the person who has the only thing you ever really wanted, it's a little bit difficult to try to make friends."