I didn't interact with anyone other than the bare minimum over the next week or so, I didn't even encounter my father, when I came home, I got ice for my nose, and went to bed, only to get up again at about 2 am, and go to the gym. I didn't go to the gym after school; I was still avoiding human contact, and i didn't want to encounter Nate or Joe.
I had started to think I had forgotten how to speak a full conversation, when one lunch, I went to sit on the bleachers like I always do, when I spotted Aron waiting for me. I wasn't in any mood, to speak to him, so I turned around and left, ignoring him calling my name. I thought I had managed to avoid him until I got to P.E. right in the very last lesson of the day! He barged into the lesson "Mr Fielding," the teacher shouted at him, "What do you think you are doing" but he wasn't listening, he walked straight towards me, his gaze not wavering and stopped in front of me, I just looked at him uninterested, I didn't know what he was here for, and quite frankly I didn't care, but I knew generally when people barge into rooms demanding my attention it wasn't for anything good.
The whole room was silent
"I need to speak to you" he said as though it wasn't optional, but I didn't want anything to do with him, and I certainly don't want to speak to him, so I said the only intelligible thing that came to mind
"I don't want to speak to you, so just fuck off" I could have been sucked over with all the intakes of breaths that came from the crowd after that, but I kept my footing and tried to walk around him. He stepped into my path, grabbing my face, he pulled me into a kiss, but I wanted none of it, pushing him back, I let all the venom I had in me seep into the words I uttered next
"I said fuck off" as I wiped off my mouth stepping around him, and going back to the lesson but he was more persistent than I thought, he swept me up, picking me up, he put me over his shoulder. He stormed down the corridor, and out of the front of school to where no one would be and put me down. As I tried to storm away he caught my arm, but I have had enough of people doing that to me, forcing me to face things I don't want to, and I couldn't contain it any more
"don't fucking touch me, just fuck off, I didn't ask you to drag me here!" he stepped towards me pulling me round to face him again
"why do you keep pushing me away?" I was furious, I couldn't control myself anymore
"why the fuck do you think you have the right to try and get close! Do you think that helping me to fix my arm, gives you a free pass to know my life, I've been through a lot, and I don't need another ass hole like you to make matters worse, now I said fuck off" then he looks at me properly noticing the faint bruise under my eyes from where my dad slammed my face into the dashboard, I hadn't put much foundation on today, so it was more obvious than usual "what the fuck happened to your face, when?" I didn't reply, and he came closer, his eyes filling with lust "why won't you let me kiss you" he asked as his hands reached out to me, pulling me closer, but I struggled out of his grip
"I can't do this." I stated stepping back, but he kept advancing
"why not?" he asked
"I just can't" I said more forcefully
"why the fuck not he demanded" I saw the anger cloud in his eyes and I exploded, he has no right to be fucking angry this is my problem his question just made the dam that had taken me years to build burst, and the violent onslaught of it came straight at him
"You think I don't want it to be bearable when people touch me, well it's not, its fucking not." I growled at him, causing him to flinch away, I stepped back to, but carried on talking "Do you think it was fucking nice listening as your dad decided on a price for my virginity, or have to defend yourself from him, but mostly accept the hits, because I need somewhere to live do you think it is fucking easy to come home to be hit every night by your father, only to then be sent to fight in the arena, to then be hit by FUCKING YOU at school! do you think I enjoy it when big tits and her friends make fun of me, do you think I fucking enjoy having to stitch myself up on a regular basis, does it look like I fucking enjoy it when I get to school having shared a moment of vulnerability with someone, only to find that they have told the biggest bitch in the world my one fear, I can't stand it when people touch my neck, because the bastard left fucking..." I stopped myself, not wanting to talk about that night "look at me, does it look fucking fun to be ignored, and have to spend all my time alone, because no one here likes me. My mother upped and fucking left me with that monster. Alone. Now he says I look like her, and hits me for that too, does it look like I enjoy cleaning the wounds that my father inflicts on himself from beating me. He cut my fucking hair of because you grabbed it the first night we fought, that's just fan-fucking-tastic" I was breathing heavily, as a single traitorous tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. I dashed it away angrily, "now let me ask you this," I said as I stepped towards him, getting close enough to hear him breathing "do I look like I want to fucking kiss you" I didn't stay to hear his reply, I just turned and walked away from him and left the school, running to the gym so that I could vent my frustration on something that wasn't another persons head.
YOU ARE READING
Memoirs Of a survivor
Action"You're an animal, you're a dog, you will always be a dog, and there's nothing you can do to change that" "You will do as you're told" "Come here and clean this up" All comments that had been shouted at Scarlett Fletcher. Her school life is bad, a...
