Memoirs Of a survivor

72. Cleaning Up

Nate came later that day, and the two of them stuck around that night, for quite a while, and we arranged for Nate to stay at my house overnight. George came back to take my statement, about what happened. He wrote down everything I said, and promised that my father would be kept away from me. "The assault charges against you have been dropped, since we found video footage of the event, and the real footage that was shown on the screen" I nodded, "don't worry, you will be okay" he assured me as he went to leave, then stopped, and turned to me "oh and I will have to take you for an examination, just to check you are okay, and as evidence" I frowned and nodded "I'll be back in a few days to take you" he assured then left the house. Joe left with George, saying he had to ask something, leaving me and Nate in the house alone. I had stood up, and was tidying up after the fight, I didn't wasn't to look at the mess anymore, so I stared picking everything up

PLAY THE SONG!

"Nate, I didn't tell Joe everything," we were tidying out the living room, clearing out all the old cigarette buds, and other questionable substances. Nate stopped what he was doing, and turned to me, he looked cute in his bright yellow marigolds, and an all-black outfit. A small smile spread across my face as I took in the sight.
"Oh, what is it?" I leaned my head forwards resting it on the sofa I was kneelt in front of. I took a deep breath, then said
"he sold me" Nate gasped, and I peeked up "please don't think of me any differently, I can't lose you, your basically all I have." my voice cracked at the end, "I knew you wouldn't want me after you knew but we promised no secrets and I couldn't lie" the words tumbled out, and my vision blurred Nate still hadn't spoke, and I was getting scared "I'm sorry, I tried to run, but I couldn't, he wouldn't let, my dad gave him four, and he used them all, I screamed for help, but no one came, he wouldn't stop, I just wanted him to stop" I clutched at my throat, as I struggled for breath, the panic was flooding my system, and I couldn't stop it, I was useless, and Nate hadn't spoken yet, carried on speaking around the fear that was gurgling up my body "I couldn't make him stop. I just wanted him to stop" I was gasping for air, still forcing the words out while I relived the events. It was then that I heard something thud down on the coffee table, making me jump and I felt arms go around me, I struggled at first, thinking it was Freddy, but the gentile touch, and comforting words Nate was uttering, helped me calm a little
"shh, shh, calm down Scarlett, it's okay I'm here now, I've got you" I snuggled into his arms, feeling safe and protected, he rocked me from side to side as we knelt on the floor. After a time, my sobs subsided, and I let go of Nate, taking a deep breath, I sat back on my legs,
"I err, I'm sorry" he shook his head
"you don't need to be sorry, you haven't dealt with it yet, and I'm here to help, I'm here whenever you need me" he smiled reassuringly to me.

I thought Nate would've been angry at me for letting what happened happen, but he wasn't, he was strangely calm as we sat and talked through it, he was patient, and even got me to crack a smile or two as he calmed me down, and helped me get over it. I told him the whole story, including how much I was sold for, it all seemed so simple, but it was so horrifying. In the end, I couldn't let Nate leave; "please can you stay, I don't want to be alone" Nate smiled at me,
"you would have to fight me to leave, Scar, I would never leave you alone like this" we had moved onto the sofas, and I was snuggled in his arms I let out a content sigh as I looked around the room
"I'm going to have to redecorate" Nate chuckled from underneath me. I looked up at him "what?" I asked as he smiled down on me
"you're so strange" he chuckled again as I sat frowning at the comment
"you got beaten to a pulp, and all you've said about it is that you need to redecorate" he pushed a stray strand of hair off my face then ran his thumb over the bruise on my jaw, I let out a small chuckle,
"if you think this is bad you should see the other guy" he let out an amused laugh, "remind me never to get on your bad side then" I chuckled, and pecked him on the cheek, deciding to go to bed.

The next morning was relaxed and happy, we both cleared up, throwing away any alcohol, or drug that wasn't cold relief. I packed all of my dad's clothes and put them by the door, awaiting my father's return. I also cleared out anything that hadn't been used in years, and packed all grans pretty decorative items away into the loft. Nate brought clothes over, and we began decorating, I chose different themes for the different rooms I was moving into the bigger room, and was decorating it with deep reds, and rich golds, I wanted Buddha's to go around the room, they would reside either side of my bed, atop the dark wood furniture. There was a gold and red ottoman to go at the bottom of the bed. The lighting in the room was muted; it made me feel safe and calm. I had planned what I wanted to do in the other rooms in the house in my old bedroom, I had seen some old pallets, and fairy lights, Nate arranged them and added a single mattress under the window as an almost window seat, the bed had a glow emitting from underneath, I had painted the whole room white, and sanded off some of the paint, to give a shabby chique look, there were a mishmash or pink roses around the room, and cream netting with more fairy lights. I wanted to put book shelves on the walls, and turn it into a library and study for myself. Since everything else in the room would be white, I could add colored throw pillows everywhere. 

There was the other room, that I hadn't been in since Freddy. At first, I couldn't go anywhere near the room. i had been in tho throw all the bedding away, but that was all i could bare to do. that day, i forced myself into that room, trowing everything away. I cried for the first few minuets, as the emotions flooded over me, feelings of helplessness, clung to my chest making it difficult to breath, but I forced my way though it. "i'm so proud of you baby" Nate stood holding me, and rubbing my back, as I panicked in his arms "it's okay, you can do it" he would whisper in my ear as he ran calming fingers over me, and place kisses on my temple. to be completely honest Nate was the reason i was able to do half the things I did that day, and I will be forever grateful. he was trying to fix me.