Chapter Four

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"Pain sucks."

           THE WIND starts howling loudly, it's screeching wails breaking the thick silence consuming the air

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           THE WIND starts howling loudly, it's screeching wails breaking the thick silence consuming the air. Everyone is silent. All our eyes are on the wide screen hanging from the gym ceiling in the center of the room. Picture past picture of Mathew fill the screen and sniffles sound throughout the gym. But I remain wondering how they could have formed an entire presentation if his body was only found last night.

Is that even enough time to do all this?

I know my eyes are bloodshot from keeping them open for a while now. If I close them a tear will no doubt escape and I hate crying. I hate crying so much.

As I continue to watch pictures of Mathew smiling, arms around unsuspecting girls, hugging his friends, opening doors for teachers, all I can do is continue wondering. I'm not in any of these. Janey let's out a startled sob as a picture of her laughing next to Mathew appears. I pull her to my side my gut twisting in pain.

·

"Come on Janey, it's so obvious you like him."  I sit up on my bed a pillow tightly grasped in my hands. I give Janey a toothy grin as she continues to try on my clothes unable to get into her house at the moment. She ignores my words a blush colouring her face.

"How bout this one?" She turns to me and pulls out my favorite purple blouse.

"Janey?" I narrow my eyes at her. She squirms a little under my gaze knowing what I want her to admit, but she simply shrugs.

"Mathew is a good guy, but no Brie I don't like him. So shut up." I laugh and Janey blushes a darker shade of red. We both know she's lying

·

The presentation ends with a self portrait of Mathew in his baseball outfit; a baseball bat held tightly in his hands. I blink and soft warm tears spill down my cheeks. I wasn't in any of those pictures. Two hours of picture after picture and I was no where to be seen. The realization that Mathew and I only spoke for small snippets a time makes his death seem even worse. I'm mourning someone I don't even know.

The lights are switched on and everyone covers there tear filled eyes. The sudden light painful to see. We all watch Ms. Jones, our principal, walk to the center of the room a small black microphone held tightly in her hands. Even from here, high up in the bleachers, I can see the white of her knuckles.

She let's out a deep breath which sends a soft woosh sounding throughout the gym. She blushes  a bit at the sound of her shaky breath and then proceeds to smile kindly at us.

"Hello," Her voice is shaky too. "Um.. we're gathered here today to speak of an awful tragedy which occurred last night."

Everyone waits for her to continue, but she takes another deep breath this time pulling the microphone away from her mouth. It takes her a bit longer to compose herself this time and we all watch her carelessly fidget with her little blonde bun.

She's crying. 

"Mathew...Mathew he is-was a nice kid." Everyone flinches at the tense mix up. " I personally was very fond of him. That boy was always helping around my office, always lending a hand."

"I wasn't ready to see him go. I'm sure no one was and I'm hurt that something so tragic occurred to him. His parents are here with us today as we give Mathew a goodbye he so rightfully..."

She continues to speak but my gaze shifts to the couple that was previously standing against the wall. They make there way towards Mrs. Jones, a man who appeared to be in his late 30s walks forward his arm clutching a crying mother.

The woman looks so frail, her hand clutching a tissue to her nose and supporting all her weight on her husband. A vibration sound suddenly consumes my ears blocking all noise out. Mathew's mom has the microphone now and she's shaking.

No they all are, everything is. I look around but no one notices the shaking. Then slowly, one by one my classmates start to turn their heads towards me and the realization hits me.

I'm the one shaking...

"Oh Brie I knew you wouldn't last." Janey quickly gets up and grabs my hand pulling me out of the room tears still silently pouring down her cheeks.

I stare down at my feet willing myself not to stumble, that stupid muted sound is still surrounding me. I'm not sure when we get outside or how exactly, I just simply feel the cold wind through my hair and I fall to my knees. 

I choke and sob my face pressed up against the ground. Willing my body to stop shaking. So many words and memories attack me from all angles, his angry screams fueled by all the terrifying grief surrounding me. I'm aware of Janey by my side and my gut twists painfully. How awful of a friend can I be? Here I am having a break down when I'm supposed to be here for her.

Eventually my body stops trembling and my breaths come easier. Janey continues to rub my back and I let her even though I can't remember when she started.

"Are you ok?"

"Yea," My voice sounds weird to my ears so I clear my throat. "thanks Janey."

"Brie, these attacks, they aren't healthy. They occur more often and-"

I stop Janey mid-sentence as I sit up and lean against the school wall. "It's just all these murders, Janey. I'm fine."

Janey gives me a small smile and crawls to where I'm seated. She gives my hand a squeeze and then lays her head on my shoulder. I'm sure it helps both of us feel a little better. We both sit there, one of us staring at the dead boy who's portrait is surrounded by gifts and the other watching the small flickering flame of an abandoned cigarette.

____________________________
Yay! New update!

Please comment what you think if this chapter and please inform me of any grammar mistakes.

Chapter questions

What do you think about Janey?
And what in the hell went on with Brie?

Thanks for reading!

-Esmer

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