Wallflower

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

My mom forced me to go to school today because I had been putting it off since I was able to go again last week. I went over to Zayn's to maybe get my mind off of things, but why would I presume that would even happen? He is one of the most curious people ever as it is.

We stood in his kitchen without talking. Then he started. "Hey Louisa, um, question."

"Okay?"

"I talked to Lilly and she told me almost everything."

I immediately got angry because who knows what Lilly had told him. It wasn't her place to tell him anything, actually. I should've been the one to do it on my own time. Lilly drove me insane and she would do anything to hurt me. Maybe she thought it'd help him or me or that she was doing me a favor, but she wasn't. She was an weird, jealous girl who hates me for no actual reason.

"What?", I yelled standing up.

"Why didn't you just tell me? You don't trust me or something?" I could tell he was getting mad since I was. Luckily it was just us 2, so nobody else would hear us yelling.

"I trust you but it's kind of hard, you know."

"Hard to trust me or hard to speak up?"

"I don't trust anyone, Zayn! I don't even know how Lilly knows anything because I sure as hell didn't tell her."

"I told you everything about me and you lied! I thought we were friends?"

"I'm leaving."

I walked to the door and slammed it shut, but he was right behind me and grabbed my shoulder. "Is there something wrong with me? You don't think I'd understand?"

"I know you'd understand but it's kind of hard to just come out and tell you everything!"

"I told you everything about me!"

"I was afraid you'd leave me and I wouldn't be happy anymore."

"Why would I leave?"

I was done at this point. I wanted it over with. "Every single person in my life leaves. Everything goes wrong for me and my life is just one long, never ending string of tragedies. My dad beat me, if Lilly didn't already tell you. He didn't want me. He was just like your dad. He beat me for years and it traumatized me. Eventually my mom divorced him and he got sent to jail 2 years ago, right before the incident at school, which I'm positive Lilly mentioned to you. He called me names and hit me constantly. I don't trust guys and they scare me." I felt the tears on my face now that I didn't notice before. I took one quick, real look at Zayn's face and he looked so content in my words. "My dad was supposed to go to jail 5 years ago, but we waited 3 years because something got messed up in court and I got 3 more years of beatings that I didn't need. I was supposed to be on suicide watch for 4 weeks, and that turned to 6 months."

I was sobbing by this point and could barely talk, but I had to. I paused, and thinking of what I would say next made me cry harder. I saw the tear fall from Zayn's chin. "A little less than 2 years ago my little sister, Faith, was supposed to make it at least 6 more months. She was supposed to be so happy and get her 5th birthday party, but she didn't even make it 3 months and died of throat cancer at the hospital 2 weeks before her birthday. She had so many problems, but she was so happy. She had no idea what was ever going on or why she couldn't eat. She just wanted to be alright even if she didn't know what was wrong. She was born with it and I wanted her to get better, but I knew she wouldn't. I prayed constantly that she'd be able to get her birthday and go to high school and drive and she'd make everything okay again. Since my dad couldn't beat her too, I got double.