Fall (Bangtan Sonyeondan BTS Alternate Universe)

14. Proud

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"We took guns and robbed shit," I blurted out, unable to control myself anymore.

Namjoon didn't respond for a moment, and my stomach grew uneasy as I saw him clench the steering wheel tightly in his hands.

"And?" He said, his voice sounding strained.

"And, it was fun?" I spoke slowly, unsure of what he wanted me to say.

Should I apologize? Fuck, why did I even say anything? This was a mistake, now he's going to be upset. What if he hates me now?

I bit my tongue, waiting to see what he would do. Maybe he was just playing with me, maybe he wasn't mad at all. I hope so.

He released his grip on the steering wheel and I shrunk a little, worried. Was that good or bad?

He wouldn't hit me right? He doesn't seem like the type. He can be an asshole sometimes, but not that kind of asshole. No, I don't think he would, no way.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea? I thought he'd be impressed. I guess it was stupid to do it just to show off to him. What was I thinking? I'm an idiot.

Then all of a sudden Namjoon was turning to me with his glorious smile, and he reached a hand out, ruffling my hair. His dimples were radiant as ever, and even after he turned back to look at the road and stopped his affectionate hair tousling, I couldn't tear my eyes away.

"Ah my little butterfly, you're growing up so fast," he said, and I grinned widely.

My heart swelled. I was proud that Namjoon had spoken to me like that. I was proud because I had impressed a gang leader - my gang leader? I'm going mad, I must be.

He called me butterfly again. I bit my lip grinning, and I found myself jiggling my legs in giddy joy.

He sounded proud of me, and that's all I needed to be proud of myself for. He was proud of me, me! It worked.

Man, I don't know what's come over me. I can't possibly value someone's opinion so much, can I?

But I do. Namjoon is like my king, and I want to do all I can to please him. Jesus, I'm fucked.

"Yah, remember us? We're here too you know," Suga complained from the back seat, and I grinned, blushing lightly.

I actually had forgotten that they were there. Namjoon occupies my mind, doesn't he? It's really not healthy.

"Ah, you ruined their moment Yoongi," Star chided Suga, and I chuckled lightly, thinking of how they sounded so affectionate even when arguing.

"Moment? They weren't even talking, they weren't even looking at each other. I know other ways to have a moment, and it's not safe for Namjoon to be driving when they happen," Suga said, a thick, flirtatious confidence in his voice.

"Rap Monster," Namjoon immediately corrected, and I grinned to myself.

"Yah, it's not fair, why does Sin get to call you Namjoon? I've known you the longest. What happened to our underground days? What's that American saying? Bros before hoes man," Suga said, and I chuckled lightly, shaking my head.

"Sin gets to call me Namjoon because I like her. You? Not so much," Namjoon spoke curtly, an easy smirk on his face.

Suga immediately started complaining in his Daegu dialect. I appreciated the sound of the satoori, but I was completely unable to understand him. I just listened to it lightly, grinning and titling my head so I could stare at Namjoon as he drove.