Aftershock (Sequel to Writing's on the Wall Destiel)

Chapter 3

Cas is back. Cas is back. Cas is back. How? But how?

These were just a few thoughts flying through Dean's head as he drove for what seemed like forever. Don't get him wrong, he was glad Castiel was back. In fact, he was beyond elated to have him back. But he just didn't know how he was back, and even though no one else did, he still wanted to know.

Dean didn't want him to go back to the grave; he had spent enough time crying himself to sleep and praying over him. Yet, he still felt like something changed. His contact with Castiel now seemed forced, strained. He could already tell that their relationship wasn't the same as it was before Castiel died. And it scared him, to be honest. He just wanted things back where they were, picked off before that terrible day.

Fittingly enough, Poison was playing, the radio emitting the words, "Eeeeeeevry rose has its thorn...and eeeeevry night has its dawn."

Dean rolled his eyes at the irony in the music, but he didn't turn it off. It spoke his mind better than he could, anyway.

His phone rang, causing him to groan, turn down the radio and pick up the phone. "Yeah."

"Dean."

He stopped for a second. "Hey, angel. What's up?"

"I'm fine. What about you?"

"Fan frigging tastic," he answered, making Castiel chuckle a little. "You doing okay, after the whole Lazarus business?"

"I think so. I miss my wings, the things that happened before I....you know."

"Yeah, I get it. S'okay."

"Dean, what I did to you, I'm so sorry."

"Cas, it's not your fault."

"I don't know about that. My death, I saw how it affected you. And I should have told you about....being human."

"Look, I know this is hard for you. I do. But stop best in yourself up over it because you're back. And I love you so, so much. Just remember that, okay? Yeah, I get mad at you sometimes, but for not telling me? I'm not mad, okay, angel?"

"Okay."

"If you ever want to talk, you know what to do."

"Thank you, Dean. I love you."

A soft smile found his way onto his face. "Love you too, Cas."

He was just about to hang up when he heard some muffled talking and a new voice took the line. "Hey, Dean?"

"Sam. What's up?"

"Where the hell are you, man?"

"Just driving. Why? Something wrong?"

"No, just....slightly worried about where you might be."

Dea smirked although he knew Sam couldn't see it. "Slightly?"

"Shut up, jerk."

"Bitch."

The brothers shared a laugh over the phone before it fell silent. "How's Cas?" Dean asked.

"He's good, but....he's feeling a little...guilty, I guess."

"Why's that?"

"He thinks it's his fault you're acting the way you are. He's just moping around and he's thinking about something, but I don't want to ask him. Dean, he's taking it personally, and I'm a little scared he might fly off or something." He heard Sam move around before he heard him speaking again. "He thinks you don't want him back."

Dean sighed, guilt settling on his heart. "Sorry, man. It's just....all this rising-from-the-dead business with Cas and all that. I just couldn't take it for a moment in there."

"Dean, when you left, that kiss seemed a little forced to me. Are you okay?"

"Yes......no. Look, I don't know, Sammy. I know our relationship's forced now. I don't know why and...I'm scared. I really am. I just want things to go back to where they were before he died."

"It's okay. Totally understand. Hey, maybe you can come back now and we'll just talk about it, just the two of us."

"That'd be great. See you later, man."

"Later, Dean."

Dean ended the call and shoved his phone back into his pocket, turning up the radio. He was glad he had Sam; his nerdy, smart little brother who always knew what to say at the right time. The Impala reversed direction and sped off towards home in the falling night.

The sun had already gone down by the time Dean returned. He slammed his car door shut and stood against the car, quietly stroking it. "Thanks for everything, baby."

When he walked inside, he found Castiel and Sam sitting in deep conversation. They both looked up when the door shut.

Castiel was the first to stand up and greet Dean. "Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cas. Its-it's okay." Dean sensed that he was about to break down so he quickly enveloped Castiel in a hug. Castiel tucked his head under Dean's chin, giving the impression that his emotions were making him vulnerable. "Hey, calm down. I don't blame you for everything."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You couldn't stop it." Dean stroked Castiel's hair, his hand by instinct rubbing his back just like in old times. As Castiel's breaths began to even, Dean began to hope that maybe times weren't that different after all. He kissed Castiel's forehead. "I love you," he whispered. "Nothing will ever change that."

Castiel seemed to take this in and he relaxed and pulled away from Dean, trying a smile. Dean looked towards Sam. "Heya, Sammy."

"Hey, Dean." Sam turned to Castiel. "Cas, can Dean and I talk- alone?"

"Of course." Castiel pivoted on his heel and walked into another room.

Sam turned to his older brother, concerned splayed across his features. "How are you holding up?"

"Peachy. I'm scared, Sam. What Cas and I have, I don't want that to change."

"And it's not going to. Why do you think it will?"

"I'm nervous. He's nervous. We feel awkward around each other when we used to know each other from the inside out."

Sam had to force himself not to acknowledge the double connotation as he continued. "Well, a death can change a lot of things. And that's perfectly normal. You guys just have to warm up to each other, you know? Give it time."

Dean didn't look entirely convinced. "And Sammy? Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah, anything. What's wrong?"

"I think I'm starting to doubt a little. "

"Meaning......"

"I'm not sure if Cas and I should continue anymore."

"Dean! What are you saying? I get that you're scared, but...think of how that's going to make him feel. You're his whole world, man, and I'm pretty sure he's yours too. Don't give up on that."

"I know, but..." Dean rubbed his forehead. "I don't want to have a relationship if it's going to be so frigging awkward. I love Cas, you know that. I just don't know what to do."

"We'll figure out a way. That's what you used to tell me, remember? When everything was easier? When we weren't involved in angels and demons and heaven stuff? That's what we'll do now, okay? But first...you gotta promise me you won't give up. Give it more time. Please, Dean."

Dean sighed. "Okay."

They didn't realize that Castiel had heard everything.

I had sooo many feels writing this chapter. Just a note, I'm planning on expanding Sam's part in this story. I feel like I've been neglecting him lately. And I'm going to add a character that will probably make you all happy. I, not sure. But anyway-What do you think is gonna happen to Dean and Cas??