For the Best (MakoHaru)

Chapter 1- Define Love

NOTE: This book isn't part of my Free! For the- series

"Makoto!" Haru jerked up from his sleep.

It's been a year since Haru last saw Makoto. Makoto had gone to a university in Tokyo, and was finally returning home. Although the two kept in touch through letters, emails, texts, calls, and even Skype, Haru had longed to touch Makoto once again.

Haru longed to grasp Makoto's hand as he pulled him up.

Although the hand was nothing special, it truly made Haru feel as if he won, even if he did lose the race.

Was it love?

Most certainly. Haru had realized that he was in love with Makoto after a few weeks of their departure. Haru felt so lonely and depressed when he realized he had to wait a full year until his best friend returned. Every memory he had with Makoto made Haru happy. 

But that's not a good enough explanation for love.

When you're in love, you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete. That was Haru's explanation for love. Haru did want Makoto by his side, forever. Without Makoto, Haru's life was so empty, incomplete, nothing.

The best way for Makoto to be mine is for us to get engaged, Haru reasoned. That was the best way Makoto won't ever leave him, right? Nobody would try to take Makoto from Haru, if they were married.

'But Mako-chan is a boy! You can't marry a boy!' Haru remembered Nagisa saying that to him when he told Nagisa his idea. 'Nagisa-kun is right, Haruka-senpai,' Rei's answer was also, rejection. 'You're not gay, are you?'

Genders shouldn't separate love, Haru thought. I should be able to love whoever I want too. I love Makoto, and my gender shouldn't get in the way.

'You don't understand, Haruka.' Even his parents laughed at him. But Haru didn't care. Makoto was all he ever needed. Surely nobody would take him away, right? Even if people tried, Makoto wouldn't let them. Makoto knows how much he means to me.

I don't care if the whole world is against me, I want to be with Makoto.

Haru was slightly frustrated when he left the bathtub. But he was the only one to blame. He was the one who put those thoughts back in his head. 

Haru glanced at the clock, realizing that he was going to be late if he didn't leave in a few seconds. Haru was going to pick up Makoto at the airport.

Pick up?

The real reason was because Haru wanted to see Makoto as soon as possible. Perhaps we'll even hug and say 'I miss you,' Haru dreamed. Although, Haru's daydreams would never become reality. Haru didn't have the guts to express his emotions to anybody, including Makoto. But he didn't have too. Makoto could read Haru's mind pretty well, and understand what he needed. Of course, Haru could do the same, but he never exercised it. Why would he? Everything he needed to say, Makoto could easily do for him. It warmed Haru's heart knowing that Makoto was extremely shy and timid, yet he still plucked the courage to speak up for Haru.

Love is putting someone's needs in front of yours, Haru remembered. Makoto spoke for me, even though he knew I had the capability to do it myself. I preferred not to say anything, true, but I could've easily spoke up. Makoto had always tried to make me happy. Does he love me?

Alas, not everybody in this world is gay. The chances that Makoto was gay was one in a million. The chance that he was gay AND liked Haru was one in a billion. Needless to say, Haru didn't have a chance with Makoto.

But that one in a billion counts. And Haru needed everything he could get. Makoto meant to much to him. Haru wanted Makoto for his own. Perhaps Makoto wanted the same?

'I love swimming, and I love you too, Haru!' Makoto told Haru that in middle school. I only wish he meant it.

But maybe he did? There were many times where Makoto openly expressed his feelings towards Haru. Makoto had told Haru that he loved him many times. They often held hands. Not in public, but as they walk home, when nobody was watching, they'd occasionally find themselves grasping the other's hand. Not to mention Makoto not finding a problem when sharing the same bed, clothes, even bath! Of course, they never washed together. Nor have they kissed.

But that didn't matter to Haru at the moment. They weren't that far in their relationship to do such things. Besides, Haru would never have the guts to ask Makoto out. Expressing emotions was way off his league. It was something Makoto would do.

Even if Haru did ask Makoto out, he knew Makoto wouldn't decline. Makoto wouldn't have the guts to decline Haru. But yet, if Haru wouldn't make the first move, who would? Makoto wasn't gay, he was just a friend.

A good friend.

A best friend.

Even closer than that. But they weren't dating. Haru couldn't proudly flaunt that he was Makoto's boyfriend.

Best friends with benefits? That sounded about right. But did Haru have the benefit to kiss Makoto? No. And that was something Haru wanted.

Yea, Haru was really in love with Makoto.

--

...Sorry this chapter has a lot of explanation. There's going to be more talking as soon as Haru finds Makoto.

Also, this book is apart from my For the Future, For the Pain, and For the Love series. I kinda made this book because I got tired of For the Love, the book I'm currently making. There's a hell lot of fluff, and I'd like to wait for enough people to request more fluff before I publish that. Because trust me, there's so much fluff it's sickening and sometimes I need a break.