For the Best (MakoHaru)

Chapter 9- Haru's Depression

"Then you wouldn't mind that I date you?"

"Not at all."

Not at all.... It's like she forgot about Makoto. It's like she doesn't even love him. It's like she doesn't care that he'll be heartbroken if he finds out. Haru thought. He had barely moved ever since Rin and he came back from Ouran.

Rin vowed that he would take care of Haru until he felt better, but how long would that be? Months? Decades? Never? Rin knew that the problem wouldn't be solved until Makoto realized that Haruhi was cheating on him.

But on the bright side, the longer that Haru is depressed, the longer Rin gets to stay with him. And Rin, although he won't admit it, does have feelings for Haru.

"Here," Rin placed a bowl of chicken noodle soup on Haru's nightstand.

Haru, who was still curled up in a ball, didn't react. The only times he moved was when he wanted to use the bathroom. And his usual 3-hour long baths, were now only 3 minutes. It's like he lost the love for water.

What's the point in swimming when Makoto won't be there with me?

"Oi, Haru, if you don't drink it now it's going to get cold," Rin pestered.

Haru didn't respond.

"Haru..." Rin tried a different approach. "If you don't eat you're going to starve."

"If I starve I die."

"But then Makoto's going to feel so sad that you're dead!"

Haru groaned. He sat up and drink the chicken noodle soup.

"You want to go swimming?" Rin offered.

"No."

"Haru, sulking about Makoto won't help. If you want something to happen you have to do something!"

"But Makoto's been with me all my life and seeing him with somebody else hurts. Seeing him with somebody that doesn't even love him hurts even more."

"But if she doesn't love Makoto that means that she'll break up with Makoto and you can have him instead, right? It's better to have a one-sided love." Rin reasoned.

"But I care about Makoto's feelings. He's going to get hurt."

"Maybe he doesn't even love-"

"What do you know about who Makoto loves? Every time he talks about Haruhi I can see and hear the happiness in him."

"Maybe he's just happy because he's talking to-"

"I've known Makoto for twenty years you think I'd know him enough by now?"

"What if you're just-"

"What if I never actually asked you to help me?"

It took a lot in Rin to not punch Haru in the face. Letting anger out on your depressed best friend is never the answer.

Rin gave Haru a sympathetic look, took the empty bowl and left the room. Haru didn't have a short temper, and he never really showed his feelings either. So it was hard for Rin to tell if Haru was in the verge of screaming. Rin tried his best to not take it that hard. Besides, you have no control over yourself when you're depressed, right?

Whatever floats your boat, Rin.

Haru, on the other hand,  felt no shame whatsoever on kicking Rin out. True it was the Rin that gave him the passion of swimming that nobody else could, but he wasn't the Makoto, who had been there all his life and had always put Haru in front of himself.

Love is putting others in front of yourself, Haru remembered.

Did Makoto like Haru? That got Haru thinking, what if Makoto did like Haru at one point? Haru never enjoyed talking, never enjoyed people in general. He only kept very few friends, and never took instructions from others. He was, I guess you could say, an oddball.

Haru was a hard person to understand. Without Makoto there to translate, Haru wouldn't have had any friends. Not like he cared or anything. You see, Makoto was the only person that truly understood Haru. He adapted into being able to tolerate Haru's behavior.

What if Makoto left because he was so tired of Haru's behavior and he didn't want to be with him any longer? What if Makoto knew that Haru would try to get him back, so he got a girlfriend and a group of friends, attempting to separate himself from Haru?

Maybe a soak in water would help, Haru thought, but he couldn't bring himself to move.

Haru was pretty much a pale, lifeless soul without Makoto. He could live without Makoto for a few years, yes, but he couldn't live knowing that Makoto wasn't his anymore.

"Did Makoto ever tell you about what happened to him when you fell in the river?" Rin intruded.

"If he did I forgot."

"When you went to save the girl's scarf in grade school, you fell remember?"

"I remember all of that. I blacked out afterwards so I don't remember anything else."

"Makoto and I saved you. But Makoto was shaking. He commanded us to call the ambulance and such, but the girl and I could see the fear in his eyes. I had never seen somebody so afraid in my life, not even till today. He really cared about you, Haru. He couldn't live a life without you. He loved you."

Haru began remembering what happened. The memory was faint, it's been a while. He remembered somebody telling him that story a while back, but that's not the issue here. The issue is, if Makoto did love Haru, why did he leave?

Haru squeezed himself tighter, attempting to shield himself from the outside world. Rin sighed. He knew that nothing in the world would help Haru. Well, nothing in the world except Makoto.

I guess you could say he's out of this world.

Anyways, that gave Rin an idea.

"Please, take care of yourself," Rin pleaded, and exited Haru's room once more.

After carefully closing the door, Rin took Haru's house phone and dialed Makoto.

"Moshi Moshi?" A voice asked from the other side of the phone.

"Hey, Makoto, it's Rin"

"Rin? What are you doing-? You know what, nevermind. How's Haru?"

"Not that well."

"I knew he wouldn't like you."

Woah there, Makoto.

"What?" Rin pretended he didn't hear what Makoto said.

"N-Nothing."

"Can you come over to check on him? I have to go soon, Gou is worrying about me."

"With pleasure."

Rin ended the call. He took one last look at Haru before packing up his bags. It was only a few minutes ago when Rin realized that he did have feelings for Haru. He only wanted Haru to be happy, and being with Makoto seemed like the only way. Rin started to understand what Haru meant by he rather have Makoto be with somebody he loved instead of himself. Rin brushed his feelings aside as he left Haru's house.

It was for the best.