Lost?

Chapter 4

A few days later, one morning I got dressed and without a word I disappeared from the apartment. I needed to clear my head. So I was walking through town and watched the people around me. I didn‘t know what time it was, and I no longer felt hunger or cold. I wore only leather jacket and sweatshirt, so I was cold really soon, but after a few minutes I get used to it. I slowly walked up to the playground. The first thing I saw were swings and trough my head flashed memory of moment when I first met with Rick after the shooting at me. Nothing has really changed. I sat down and after a while I started to cry. As much as I wanted to remember, but after those 10 days since the accident, I didn‘t remember anything. Although Castle reassured me that it'll fix by itself over time, or therapist help me with it, but I didn‘t see it the same way as him.

I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder, and when I lifted my head, there was a little girl standing before me and looking a little frightened at me.

"What happened to you?" she asked me, "Why are you crying?"

"I'm just a little bit sad," I said to her, and then I immediately asked her, "Where are your parents?"

"Fathers are there," she said pointing to lawn where two gays were taking selfies. I took the girl's hand, and I took her to them.

"Thank you very much, Miss," one of them said and hugged me. I nodded a little surprised and then walked away. I walked away from the playground to a place where I couldn’t meet anyone. It was getting dark and I was still colder. I felt hungry and I just kept walking. I passed several people, including one policeman. For a moment he looked at me and then he went on. I shook my head, and I wanted to continue my journey again, when I felt strong arms around me. I tried to resist, but I couldn‘t. But suddenly the grip did ease and I saw a policeman, who passed by me a little while ago.
"You Katherine Beckett, aren’t you?" he said comparing the image on his phone with my face. I nodded uncertainly in agreement, but I still didn‘t understand what he meant.

"You must come with me. Your fiancé is already 10 hours looking for you. You didn‘t tell him where you go and he was afraid that something bad could happen.“

Just now I realized that I didn‘t say anything to Rick at all and neither left any message.

"Excuse me. Sure, I'll go with you," I said. The policeman took me into the car and took me to Rick‘s apartment. I knocked on the door. Rick opened and in one swift movement he pulled me to him and hugged me. He kissed me on the cheek and firmly held me around my back.

"I’m sorry," I muttered to his chest.

"You should be. Do you have any idea how much I was worried about you?! I was afraid that you were kidnapped!" he yelled at me, and after seeing the tears in my eyes, he calmed down again and hugged me. He thanked the policeman for bringing me home, and he left.

We sat down on the couch. I saw fear in his eyes and anxiety, and I started to cry.

"Kate, don‘t cry, please. I’m not longermad at you, but I was so afraid," he said softly and grabbed my hand.

"Rick, I have to confess something. I don‘t handle this well. I try to behave as if I was okay, but I'm not. It tortures me that I cannot remember," I said between sobs.

"Kate, I promised you I'd wait until you remember, so what are you afraid of?" he asked and  squeezed my hand.

"That I never can remember again," I whispered with my eyes closed.