Mr Lester

Chapter 17

I leave Phil's body where it was. Nobody will find him for a few hours yet, and by then I'll be long gone. I catch the bus home via the normal route, and head up to my bedroom as soon as I get in. My family is out, except for my dad who's upstairs working in the office. I need pills, and lots of them.

I walk down to the kitchen quietly, and open the first aid cupboard. Before me sits a whole horde of boxes labeled different things, I grab a pack of ibuprofen, two boxes of paracetamol, two packs of sleeping pills, two boxes of iron and then grab the bottle of bleach from under the sink. This should do it. For extra good measure, once those are all up in my room, I sneak out to the garage to grab a long tow rope. I cut the metal at the end, and its perfect for a noose. Thank god I have a high wardrobe.

Throughout all this all I can see in my mind is Phil's body lying there, still. I wonder if someone's found him yet? Doubt it, even when they realised he was missing they wouldn't think to look there, and nobody'll suspect anything for hours yet. The colour of blood permanently stains the back of my mind, and all I want is relief from this torture. I can hear his laugh all around me, his voice telling me he loves me. But he doesn't love you, especially not since he's lying cold in an abandoned hostel where you left him. Maybe I should have hidden him and then they never would have found him? Ah well, what's done is done. Now all I have to do is get out too.

I dig out the suicide note that I used the last time, I don't really know how long I have so I should probably get on with it. I've said goodbye to the world before, but I always ended up coming back. But this time I won't, there's no way that amount of poison can't kill me.

I start with the pills, and a bottle of water. There must be over 150 tablets here, and I slowly swallow them one after another. When all the pills are gone, I don't have long. I set up the noose above the wardrobe with a stool below, and say my goodbyes to the world. I won't miss it. This time I have no doubts. I don't belong here anymore, I'm a murderer. I open the bottle of bleach and start to drink. After half the bottle, I start to feel it. I force down the rest, before stepping onto the stool and placing the noose around my neck. I take a deep breath then let it go, and I step off the stool.

-Daniel James Howell, 1991-2016