Disorder

8.

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Giselle

Butterflies can not see their wings but the rest of the world can -Unknown

"Casper!" I gasp as his teeth graze against my collarbone, nipping slightly at the thin layer of skin covering it. His mouth returns to attacking my neck and his hands begin to clumsily unbutton my school shirt, slowly exposing my black bra.  I let out a sudden loud moan as Casper sucks on my sensitive spot under my ear.

 I silently thank the universe that my mom is away with work in Spain or somewhere and my brother is on a school trip for the weekend or else this sensual exchange would have led to a serious talk with my mom about proper protection or some shit like that. She is very cautious when it comes to me not pregnant until I'm 27 unlike the rest of my cousins. For example she has had me on the pill since I was 13 because 'boys would start noticing my body and that only ever leads to sex' as she still warms me to this very day. Even though Casper and I aren't actually having sex, it would still cause an equally embarrassing discussion with my mom.

To think that only 2 hours ago we were leaving out friends at Hot Coals and now here we are. To be honest I have no idea how this all happened. I have no idea why Casper got all sensual suddenly. Nor do I have any idea what is happening or what it is leading up to. The last hour before this has been a blur. I have a feeling the next hour will become a blurry memory. 

My mouth involuntarily whimpers as Casper detaches his mouth from my neck. Without any warning Casper rips the remaining unbuttoned shirt from my body while staring deeply into my eyes and throws it to the floor beside the bed. His eyes move from mine and down to my chest. I see a dash of lust and hunger spread across his eyes and I know it will soon be too late to go back. In one quick action Casper's buttoned school shirt becomes unbuttoned and another addition to my bedroom floor. Casper's hands begin to move up my sides and his head begins to dip downwards again. His face and hands are inching closer and closer towards my breasts. "It's becoming too late" my subconscious announces causing me to panic.

"Casper.." I pant, while moving my hands up to his shoulders to keep him back off my body.

"Yeah" he says in a raspy voice.

"I'm not ready to-"

"I wasn't expecting sex tonight, Gorgeous" Casper reassures and then rolls off my body and falls next to me. "I can't believe you were even considering having sex with me" he speaks out in disbelief, putting his arm under my body and pulling my body to turn to his side. I oblige cuddling into him, tangling our legs together.

"Why?" I question curiously.

"Well it's kind of a big deal in a relationship,  for one. And I want my first time with you to be different"

"Your first time with me?"

"Don't tell anyone but.... I did sorta have sex before"

"Sorta? You can't sorta have sex" I chuckle.

"I thought you'd be annoyed if I told you, not amused." he confesses before continuing "It was an accident, it wasn't meant to happen and I do sorta regret it now, looking back."

"One, I have no reason to be annoyed, it's none of business. Two, sex can't be an accident. You don't just slip and enter your dick into someone, it's impossible. Like your dick would actually have-."

"Can we not talk about this. Those words don't sound right coming out of your innocent mouth." he blushes. "Well not when you're explaining the birds and the bees to me. But I don't have anything against dirty talk."

"In your dreams!"

"How did you know?!" Casper remarks causing me to elbow him in the ribs. "Oh shit, its nearly 12. I should leave you to get your beauty sleep." He jumps from the bed and proceeds to rush around the room, grabbing his clothes and putting them back onto his body.

"You could just stay here if you want. My moms away on work and brother is on a trip with the school for the weekend so I'm all alone." I offer, hoping he accepts.

"Sorry I can't. My sister has a ballet class early tomorrow and I have to bring her. I really am sorry, trust me." He explains to me while buttoning his shirt. truthfully, I didn't know he had a sister. It saddens me how little we actually know each other. I thought that we had really bonded over the last week but I was wrong.

"Okay, thats fine. I'll see you tomorrow at the party."

"Yeah you definitely will, Goodnight." he says kissing my forehead and leaving the bedroom.