This Love | ✓

Part 36

I sat on the porch steps, obsessively rehearsing a speech to Jason, my eyes trained on the straps of my navy blue wedges. The sound of an approaching car caused my heart rate to speed up. My eyes immediately darted to the street in front of Claire's house. 

My pulse slowed as I watched a Mercedes convertible roll past, everything tinged in hues of pink and purple by my Ray-Bans. I dropped my gaze back to my feet.

"Jason, I have to go back to London next Monday," I muttered to myself.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

Chris's low voice, filled with condescension and spite, replayed inside my head.

It'll get ugly.

You're just going to drift apart.

"Stop it," I whispered to myself frantically. "Stop it."

Too busy berating myself, I failed to notice Jason's SUV as it pulled into Claire's driveway. I looked up when I heard the driver's side door opening and closing.

"Jason," I called, hurrying over to him.

Jason looked strikingly handsome dressed in dark jeans and a light blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A pair of aviator sunglasses framed his face perfectly. The bright sun -- directly overhead -- made his light brown hair appear golden. With his height and those sunglasses, Jason looked like he belonged in a summer fashion catalogue.

I almost forgot about everything that had happened the previous day when Jason pulled me to him with a big smile, bending to kiss me. His body, cold from the air-conditioning in his car, was a sweet relief against the heat burning into my back.

Once we were strapped into the Chevrolet, I asked, "Where are we going today?"

"Point Dume Beach," Jason replied excitedly, dropping his sunglasses into the dashboard before revving the engine.

I watched him carefully, searching his face for the agitation that tormented me. His features exuded nothing but calmness as he focused on the road ahead, his hands casually positioned on the steering wheel.

"Can you play the radio?" I asked, pushing my shades up my forehead.

"Yeah," Jason said, fiddling with the controls. "You can pick the station."

I chose a station that was playing the latest pop hit, perfect for a bright Sunday afternoon. I reclined against the seat, letting the catchy tune and upbeat lyrics distract me from the chaos inside my head.

***

Cool, frothy waves lapped at our heels as we walked along the shore. The strip of beach was surprisingly uncrowded, occupied only by three other couples that wandered in separate directions.

My eyes stayed fixed on the jagged cliff overlooking the glittering ocean when Jason ventured, "You said you wanted to talk . . . ?"

"Yes," I nodded. A small pain nagged at my heart when I said, "I still can't believe I didn't think about this until your dad mentioned it. Jason, do you even know when I'm leaving?"

Jason reached for my hand, interlinking his fingers through mine, his touch warm as the sun and soft as the waves.

"I'll know if you tell me now," he answered with a small, unworried smile.

"I have to go back next Monday," I said, secretly hoping that the waves crashing against the rocks would wash away my words, make the truth disappear.

"Oh," Jason said quietly.

I drew in a big breath of the salty ocean breeze, ready to deliver the rest of my carefully worded speech, but Jason spoke up first. 

"We'll work things out," he said confidently. "We have nothing to worry about."

Jason walked two steps ahead of me before noticing that I had stopped dead in my tracks.

"Hey," he said softly, returning to my side. Misinterpreting the worry in my eyes, he draped his arms around my waist and repeated, "We can work things out, Leena."

No, we can't, I wanted to say. We can't work things out.

But the words stuck in my throat, refusing to leave my lips. Instead, a strangled hiccup emanated from me, sounding pathetic and sad to my own ears.

"Leena," he whispered, dropping his head until his forehead was pressed against mine. His brilliant grey and hazel eyes were all I could see, all I wanted to see. "There's no place that's too far. We'll find a way to be together."

I knew that I should object to Jason. I knew that I should put an end to his delusional, optimistic line of thought. I was well aware that by delaying the truth, I was complicating things further. But at that moment, I was weakened by the conviction in his words.

The slow, rhythmic pace with which the waves caressed my legs wore me down, making me feel relaxed and lazy.

I'll tell him tomorrow, maybe. 

I'll make him understand, but not today.

Instead of protesting him like I should have done, I grasped Jason's face between my hands and kissed him urgently and deeply. His chest pressed closer to mine, his addictive heat leaking into my body and spreading through my skin. I sighed with satisfaction as our soul kiss grew mind-numbingly passionate, effectively silencing my thoughts.

Wrapped in Jason's embrace under the fading afternoon sun, I bought myself time that I could not afford.