Part 39

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The wind rushed into the car through the open windows, whipping my hair backwards. I squinted against the breeze, watching the metallic railing that ran along the mountain road's edge disappear into a silver blur.

The railing materialised into view again as the car slowed down. Jason manoeuvred his SUV into a turnout nearby. Pulling into the little nook, he shut off the engine. 

"You have to see this," he said. 

I smiled in gratitude when Jason held the passenger side door open for me. The breeze continued to blow around us, sending our shirts fluttering against our bodies. Jason and I stepped closer to the barrier, my breath hitching in my throat at the vision in front of me.

The city of Los Angeles was reduced to mere specks in the distance, dwarfed by the mountains that rose around us. Overhead, the morning sky was a vivid blue. Puffy clouds cast shadows on the mountains as they drifted past them.

Jason chose a strange spot for the break-up.

I dismissed the thought and inhaled big lungfuls of the crisp, unpolluted air. The air tasted of happiness, freedom, and infinite possibilities. A million leaves rustled in the breeze, producing a hypnotic sound. I smiled at Jason, linking my fingers with his.

This is how I want to remember what I have with Jason. 

I will hold onto this moment and remember it forever.

"Amazing, isn't it?" he asked, his voice filled with awe.

"It's unbelievable," I breathed.

A moment later, Jason withdrew his hand from mine. "Hey, I've got something for you."

He fished around his pocket, producing a small, silver box with an expectant smile.

A parting gift?

I opened the box and found a silver charm bracelet nestled inside. I pulled it out slowly, gasping in surprise as I examined the six charms.

"The coffee cup and muffin are for Java Lava, the lollipop is the candy store, the rose is for the garden, the ice cream cone is our first kiss," I recounted, fastening the bracelet to my wrist. "And the heart . . ."

"And the heart is for I love you," Jason said with a look of intense sincerity on his face. 

"Wh-what?" I nearly dropped the now empty silver box. 

My heart almost beat its way out of my chest when Jason said, "I love you, Leena Faye."

The first thought that occurred to me was how beautiful those five words sounded when Jason spoke them. But reality came crashing down when a car honked as it drove past, startling me.

No, no, no. 

He can't say that.

Why is this happening?

He was supposed to bring me here to break up with me.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked, cupping my face with his hands. "Say something, Leena."

I turned away from Jason's confused, pleading eyes, staring past the railing at the ground far, far below. A mild sense of vertigo overcame me. I flinched as I tried to grip the hot barrier for support.

A sigh of relief escaped my lips when Jason's arms folded around me, steadying me yet again. 

"I'm okay," I managed. "But we need to talk. Can we go back to Claire's house?"

"Okay," Jason agreed reluctantly, leading me to his car. "Please tell me what's wrong." 

I hesitated, fidgeting with the silver box in my hands. "I'll tell you once we get back." 

As Jason drove down the mountain, both our faces were ashen with disbelief for completely different reasons.

I didn't expect him to say he loves me. He didn't expect me to react like this.

***

The moment we stepped into Claire's house, Jason implored, "Leena, what's wrong?"

Without a word, I ushered him to the living room, pulling him next to me on the couch.

Jason's unexpected present weighed a tonne on my wrist when I confessed, "I was not expecting you to say that you love me."

"Why not?" Jason asked, utterly perplexed.

"I thought you were taking me there to break up with me," I sighed.

"What?"

"I'm going back to London next Monday, Jason. There's no time left."

Four, three, two, one.

"Leena, I told you," he said, raking his hands through his hair. "We can make this work."

"We can't," I protested. "We're both going off to university, Jason. I don't even know how long it will take for us to see each other again. We can't just talk on the phone or chat online until then."

"What are you saying?" Jason shook his head, uncomprehending. 

"You and I have something amazing, but we can't have this when I go back to London," I said, my voice cracking. I stared at my feet, struggling to get the next words out. "We should end this now while things are still good."

"No," Jason's denial came at once. "No, we will not do that."

"You have to understand," I begged, wringing my hands together in frustration. "It's the right thing for us to do!"

"Leena, I know it won't be the same after you go back, but I will wait for you for as long as it takes. I love you," he said. His voice turned quieter when he asked, "You feel the same about me, don't you?"

A mixture of hope and hurt clouded Jason's eyes. I dithered, sorely tempted to erase his pain by admitting that I loved him.

No. You have to convince him.

I steeled myself, choosing to extinguish his optimism instead. "I can't."

"You can't what?" Jason asked, grasping my hands in his. 

On the verge of tears, I told the hardest lie of my life. 

"I can't love you, Jason."

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