Orange Is The Color Of Untamed Urges

Chapter 13

After coming out of his initial shock, Artair had released Trinity and sped out of the room. Trinity had stood there, stuck in a daze, her world spinning around her.

She had never thought he would say something so cruel...and he had said it all with so much conviction, as if he thought if he told himself it enough it would all be true.

Trinity took a step back, hitting the desk behind her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this point. This whole situation had gotten out of hand. She had thought that she was breaking the barrier over his heart but all she had really done was hurt him more.

She leaned into the desk, suddenly feeling weak in the knees.

"Are you alright?" Ailbeart asked as he rounded his desk.

She looked up at him weakly, her chest was aching in the worst way. "I'm fine...I just-I," she didn't even know what to say.

She was lost for words.

"I'm sorry for bringing you into this. None of this was planned, I thought that once he met you he'd change. That once he met someone who would not tolerate his sulking he would open his heart but...It is not playing out the way I saw it."

She stayed silent, her heart beat ringing in her ears.

"I'll send you home first thing tomorrow morning, I'll take responsibility for all of this."

Her heart fell and she clutched a hand over her heart. "No."

Ailbeart raised a brow, "No?"

She opened her mouth to elaborate but Artair burst back into the room, panic on his face.

"I can't find him." Artair said in blind trepidation, slight sweat pebbling along his temples. He raked a shaky hand through his hair, his teeth latching on to his bottom lip in anxiousness.

"What do you mean, you can't find him?" Ailbeart asked with worry etched in his voice.

Artair suddenly began to pace, growing more and more agitated by the second.

"I can't find him, damn it! I searched the stable for him and he wasna' there! I've been calling his name and runnin' up and down the bluidy stairs and he's not here!" Artair barked as he continued to pace.

Ailbeart frowned up before heading for the door, "I'll have my staff search for him as well."

Trinity watched Artair as he paced, the worry on his face evident and obvious. The set of his shoulders was in a defeated stance, he was guilt ridden.

"Artair?" She said as she pushed herself away from the desk, walking toward him slowly.

"This is my bluidy fault!" He snapped as he suddenly froze, his hands bunching up in his hair in a way that seemed almost painful, "You were right abot' me, I am a coward. I've been holdin' it all in for years. All my anger and hurt, its just been simmerin' inside my head...my chest..."

She listened to him rant, watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he finally seemed to be releasing all his pent up hurt.

"He wasna' supposed to hear that! I would never have told him anything like that! I would never have told him I didna' love him because it isn't true!" Artair spat, his voice cracking slightly.

Trinity walked toward him and tugged at his sleeve, catching his attention.

"You have to tell him that. You can't just spout it all out to yourself, he needs to know, Artair. He's a child, he looks up to you, he admires you and he most definitely can't read your mind."

Artair stared down at her for a moment before cursing underneath his breath. He was angry with himself for being so stupid and so incredibly heartless. He hadn't been thinking.

His fears had destroyed his common sense, his ability to realize how idiotic he had been all these years had eluded him entirely.

And, Ean, the look on the child's face spoke volumes. He had broken his heart without thought or reason.

He knew that pain. The pain of heartbreak. He knew what loneliness felt like, he knew what happened when one's heart was torn to pieces and the fact that he had done that to Ean left him feeling evil and cruel.

"What's wrong with me?" Artair asked out of the blue, his face stricken with pain, "Am I really so miserable?"

He searched Trinity's eyes for an answer to his question but he found no solution in them. He reached down and grabbed her underneath her arms. He lifted her up off of her feet and brought his lips down on top of hers. She was caught completely off guard but did not protest as his lips came down on hers. He kissed her roughly, moving forward and pushing her onto the desk. She whimpered, pulling her mouth away to suck in a breath of much needed oxygen.

He kissed her again, his arms wrapping around her waist. He squeezed her close, tilting his head to get better access to her mouth.

Her head fell back and she allowed him to kiss her savagely, letting all his anger and frustration burst forward through passion.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, sinking her hands into his hair.

"I'm a fool," he mumbled against her lips.

Her chest was heaving, her heart pounding, "No, you're not." She mumbled back, passion and desire dancing along her throat, giving her voice a breathless quality.

He kissed the corner of her mouth and then her cheek before trailing down her neck. She pressed herself closer to him, seeking the warmth that only he could give to her.

"I am a fool," He sighed against her skin, "I condemn those around me for lovin' when I've been secretly yearnin' for it for years..."

He pressed her closer at his words, his arms tightening around her. She gasped for breath, he was holding her much too tight but she dared not complain for she was enjoying his embrace.

One of his hands slid up her back and she sighed when he cupped the back of her neck, kissing her gently on the forehead.

The sound of thunder suddenly exploded around them and Trinity jumped in his arms.

The thunder seemed to pull Artair out of his passionate haze. He moved away from her and ran a hand through his hair, a scowl on his face.

Thunder boomed once more and worry etched itself across his features once more.

"I'm going to look for Ean again." He mumbled darkly as he turned on his heel and stormed toward the door, his strides long and purposeful

Trinity slid off the desk behind him, "I'll come with you."

He stopped in his tracks, looking back at her with brows knitted together. "No ya' won't, you'll stay here."

She frowned, "But I can help find him."

He didn't answer her but instead continued on his way toward the front door. She grabbed her skirt in her fists and followed after him. She refused to stay idle while everyone around her searched for Ean.

He turned around and she bumped into his chest.

"Stay here, woman." He said seriously.

She glared up at him, "Why?"

"Someone needs to be here in case he returns. He trusts ya', he'll be more open to you than he will be to me right now."

The look on his face was a tortured one and before she could stop herself she reached up and caressed his cheek, "Don't make that face." She whispered softly. "He'll forgive you, Artair."

He licked his lips and his lips parted as he wanted to say something but before he could the door opened, wind and rain blowing.

Ailbeart and several of the maids piled in, their hair wet and matted to their heads. In Ailbeart's arms was an unconscious Ean.

Artair reached for him immediately and his panic rocketed through the roof.

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