Born In The Saddle - Quicksilver Stud - Book 1 (#wattys2016)

Chapter 22

Dark clouds hung over the stables the next morning. Just like they were hanging directly over my head. Mum had a right to be angry of course. Not only was I riding again but I'd lied to her to hide it. And Clay. No doubt he was angry too.

I'm not sure how long she'd ranted and raved in the front room, but by the end of it she was hoarse and exhausted. She'd cried, I'd cried, and I know at some point I begged. But to be honest once she'd gone it all became a blur.

The only bright point was that at least she hadn't dragged me away like I'd imagined she would. Although the way she suddenly went quiet and then just left was just as heartbreaking as if she had. By the end, my mother couldn't even look me in the eye she was so angry. And betrayed. I think that's the part that was even worse than her anger. She'd trusted me and now she didn't. I'd hurt her with my lies. If I'd have had the courage to tell her I wanted to ride she'd have been upset, worried mostly, but she wouldn't be feeling like she did now.

But, I felt genuine panic at the thought that she might stop me from riding. I can't. I won't. She may not have dragged me away yet but I didn't feel any sense of relief because there was still the chance that she would.

For me, this hadn't been a great week. First Connor, then my mum. All I needed to do now was piss off Amber and I'd have the whole set.

'Hi.' Amber ventured softly over Blaze's door. I continued to fasten the girth I was tightening. 'She didn't tell you to stop then?'

'Not yet. Thought I better make the most of it before I find myself back in London.'

'She wouldn't do that. Would she? Not before the Showcross.'

'Amber she was yelling before I even told her about that. You should have seen the look on her face when I did. It's like she was considering calling the men in the big white truck to come and take me away in a straight jacket.'

'Oh. But after all the work you've put in. And Blaze. It wouldn't be fair.'

'I know.' Although I'm not sure I believed that. Maybe it would have been unfair if I'd been honest and told her from the start. But I'd lied and maybe this was my punishment.

Clay was quiet as we made our way down to the bottom field for cross country practice. He barked orders, sending Amber this way and that, over logs, through water, up a bank. But they were short sharp instructions, nothing more.

He said even less to me. Half the time I was wondering if he'd forgotten I was even there. It didn't escape my notice that when he did tell me to jump something it was one of the smaller, simple fences. In the end I turned Blaze towards a couple of the bigger ditches and a large, imposing roll top. I spotted Clay watching but he made no comment, turning his back again and focusing on Amber.

I knew he was angry too. I wish I could turn back the clock and be a fly on the wall of the common room when he was chatting with my mum. I'd love to know what they discussed. When Amber and I walked in they both seemed so calm. Like, scary calm.

But perhaps this was Clay's version of punishment. Or maybe it was just me overthinking it. I don't know. Everything seemed to be coming to a head and I was drowning under the pressure of it all.

'Shhhhhiiiittt!!!! I cursed under my breath as I faced Blaze at the Trakehner.

'Concentrate Jenna! You had Blaze right under that fence.'

'Sorry.' I replied breathlessly.

'Don't be sorry. Just pull it together. I promised your mother you were safe down here. Don't make me a liar.'

That stung. But I made no reply. I deserved that. And at least it was a sign that Clay must have fought my corner and somehow persuaded my mum not to drag me away. I'd love to ask him, but I was so wracked with guilt - and fear - such a question would probably win me a dressing down from my uncle. So much for being brave. Guess Tiff was right - I am a coward.