Baby's Breath

Chapter 11: lonely

Talking with Mom about her pregnancy with my baby brother was so cleansing. It put my mind at ease, and I forgot about the possibility of being pregnant. I had been so uptight, so scared, that I knew I had skipped my period. I would just wait until the upcoming time and everything would be just fine. Last 2 sentences a little unclear- had to read a couple times until i understood that she thought she missed her period because of stress

Audra noticed my upbeat mood and she was glad to have the old me back. She did ask me why I didn't corner her about sex again, and I told her that I had better things to do. Like raise my grades. The effects of my anxiety at the swimming pool calmed a bit. My vertigo and fatigue were not as demanding as it was a while ago and I was happy.

That was until Josh opened the door when I walked Audra home after school from the bus Friday.

She obliviously walked in, leaving me like a flapping goldfish at the doorstep. Josh's dancing eyes took me in and he exhaled. "You're looking beautiful."

That night together played minute-by-minute in my head and I crossed my arms over my chest. Then everything he put me through from his cruel ostracism to my possible pregnancy jolted me and all I could do was huff.

"Aren't you going to say something?" He stepped aside so that I could come in, but I stubbornly stayed in place. Why was he pretending as if nothing happened? Okay, he did say he wanted to do just that, but it was to the point that I felt jilted. Just because he was over me, didn't mean I was over him. My heart ached all over again now that we were finally face-to-face. We stood in silence for a minute more as I fought for the right words to say—or if I should say them at all. He tapped his fingers on his jeans, his glance moving away. I hadn't expected him to be here, why hadn't Audra said as much? He stood there as if he had no worry in the world. How I wished I could be as untainted as he. "Well, okay."

He moved into the house, leaving me alone. I opened my mouth, wondering what I should tell him. Didn't it mean anything to him that we had sex, even in the slightest? And all he could say was that I looked beautiful after ripping my heart out and stabbing it a thousand times and eating it with his vampire fangs. harsh- where did that come from? I took a step back, raking my hair from my eyes. Did it ever occur to him that I could be pregnant? I knew we used a condom, but was it really possible that it was just my imagination after all? which is her imagination, the fact that she could be pregnant, or if they actually used a condom?

"What are you doing here?" Too stunned to care how illogical that sounded, I wanted to know.

He laughed at my question. "Well, I do live here you know." He closed the door behind me as I walked in.

I made a face that told him I wasn't amused. "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant. School is out for us." He smiled, his sparkling eyes caressing my face.

Somehow, I managed to make it up to Audra's room with my dignity intact, but my heart in shreds. "Is it possible to get pregnant with a condom?" I asked as casually as possible, with a loud yawn for effect.

Audra launched into a fit of laughter, the nail polish brush streaked down her big toe. "Why do you ask?" I joined her on the bed and dug through the array of nail color.

I laughed with her as I painted my index finger, but my fun didn't go deep. Audra had made it sound as if it was impossible to get pregnant because she'd been using condoms forever. "Well." I nibbled my bottom lip and contemplated my green nail. "Because you seemed all choked up that I had not asked you a sex question in such a long time, I thought I shouldn't disappoint you."

"You're funny." She smiled and blew on her toes. "Hey, have you been stuffing your bra?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Way to reel 'em in."

"What?" I stared at my chest. My bra fit a little tight, but how would she know? Sudden heat rushed across my face and I ducked away before she could see. Why did I have to put myself through this and ask her about sex after all? Big mistake! I needed to get away before I said anymore stupid things. "Can I go get me a glass of water?"