Chapter 3: Anchor

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Previously in Deception:

"ELLIE MARIDYTH PARKER"

1994-2004

"May the memories be cherished in our hearts forever"

I look at the marble stone and pick at grass that I am sitting on.

"I think I know where I want to go. I don't know why but it feels safe. I bet you could guess it in a second if you were here with me. I know because Mom took us to a Pg-13 movie when we were only nine and we felt so cool. The minute we found out where the pretty girl lived in the movie, we wanted to go there. You said that we could go there when we were older. So I am going to go. You're going to come with me okay?" I whisper into the wind. It swishes around me as I stand up.

Off I go to a city where I know no one, will have no home or money, and most likely regret ever leaving.

But right now, in this moment, I feel like a bird flapping her wings, too proud and undaunted to look back. I am going to a place where Ellie can live in my heart safely. I am going to a place where no one will find me. I am going to a place where the fear of the past coming to life can and will vanish, because it has to. It just has to.

"Here we go London."

Chapter 3:

I never knew it could be so frigid somewhere in the summer. As I step out of the doors in the airport, I begin to regret everything. I think of going through customs and how flustered I was. They could have easily thought I was a terrorist because I had no way of answering all of their questions and I just stoof there blinking at them like an idiot.

On the plane, I counted how much cash I had left, and it sure as hell wasn't enough. The ticket was more expensive than I hoped for, and now I am left with only a couple hundred bucks. I begin to wonder if my parents even realize I am gone. You would think that after all that has happened they would care a little more, but not my parents.

I can imagine my brother laughing and saying "Well what'd you expect Mom? She's impulsive." Its accurate I am. I am pretty sure that standing on the corner of a sidewalk in London with only one duffle bag of my belongings and not enough cash to last a week explains that.

After standing on that corner for minutes just admiring the buildings around me, I begin to walk past and up the sidewalk so I can at least admire the rest of the alluring city. Who knows how long I will be here for? Ellie would be here snapping so many damn photos if she could, oh and plenty of selfies.

As I am walking, it is the first time in my life where I don't look behind me to check if someone is following me. It is the first time where the city of cameras has got my back...and I feel safe.

I walk for a few miles, in no hurry. Where have I got to go?

However, when I past a coffee shop called Koffee Kall, I look inside to see lines of people. Slowly, I open the door and enter the shop and immediately my nose is attacked with smell of warm vanilla. I walk straight past the line of grumpy, atrocious coffee drinkers and wave a worker over.

"How can I help you?" she asks, slightly bewildered.

"Um...are you guys hiring?" I bite my lip.

"Indeed we are! Two workers a day just doesn't do it anymore. I am Mary Kall." She smiles, sticking out her hand for a shake. She's probably the age of my mom, maybe a little older but I have never seen someone that age look so happy and alive.

She bends down and gets a sheet of paper from under the cabinet. "Take this and you can fill it out at one of the tables. Then in a few minutes, when the line dies down I will interview you, alright?" she smiles. I nod and take a seat at a floral, circular table and take in the people around me. These are the everyday British people, drinking coffee and tea with their pinky's up and smiles on their faces.

Its almost peaceful listening to the bell ring every time someone comes in and leaves. As I fill out my application of some sort, I watch the line abate. Its kind of funny how much people care about coffee. I laugh, watching them smile once its finally in their hands.

The bell on the door rings again and I hear the clatter of boots. I shift my eyes and see leather black, boots with dark buckles. I turn my head back to my paper and continue to fill out the questions considering that the only way I will be eating is by getting a job.

Suddenly though, the peace is gone. The safety? Vanished. I begin to feel agitated so I set my pencil down and look up. My eyes catch a set of emerald green ones and I hold my gasp in. This stranger stands there, staring at me. I bite my lip anxiously and look the other way, hoping he will stop looking. Then I sneak a peak again and he is still standing there, with his hands in his pockets and a sly smirk on his mouth. Watching me. I squint my eyes at him, trying to make him uncomfortable but he doesn't flinch. He just fixes his beanie revealing some of his dark curls and licks his bottom lip.

The familiar pain in my chest has returned, the one I despise so much. HE admired me like that. HE looked at me like that.

My chest is heaving up and down but I still feel his eyes on me. And I hate it. The fear is swallowing my body whole of who this man is. There isn't Ellie here to protect me now, it's just me.

"Are you ready sweetie?" my head shoots up to Mary Kall standing next to my table. My heart stops for a second in gratitude then returns to an uneasy, normal pace. I feel slightly abashed as I stand, picking up my papers. She leads me past the line and I don't look back. I don't want to because I can still feel his eyes snaking over my body. It brings all the memories back, the feeling of being watched. Because this is exactly what is happening, he is watching me, waiting.

I follow Mary as she opens the sliding door to go behind into the kitchen. I feel brave all of the sudden, realizing I am no piece of meat. I turn around and catch his eyes as I watch his smirk grow, revealing two deep dimples. I notice his one sleeved arm of tattoos, so dark and unreadable; along with the bold Anchor tattoo that is being attacked by a wave on his neck. Quickly, I shake my head at him as to show him that I am not his prey. I am no one's prey. Then, I follow Mary into a separate room.

~

Mary Kall was extremely nice. I wasn't planning on telling her how I got here but its kind of slipped out. Now here I am in the apartment above the coffee shop because she is graciously letting me stay here until I can get my own place.

Example A: why Brits are better than Americans.

She gave me a sheet of recipes that I need to memorize over night in order to start tomorrow. Part of me doesn't believe what is happening, that I may possibly be able to persevere over here. Thousands of miles from home. But it never was a home. When Ellie left, so did I. it just took me a while to catch on.

~

I wake at 2 am from the mixture of a nightmare and jetlag. I miss my balcony, that's where I always went when I woke from nightmares.

I grab my pack of cigarettes from my bag and take one out. I dig in the front pocket, searching for my lighter until I find it. Slipping on one of the warm coats Mary lent me, I open the window and crawl out onto the rooftop.

Slowly, I light my cigarette and blow O's, letting the smoke ruin my lungs. Killing yourself slowly is the only real control you have over your life.

I stare out into the streets of London and let my cig calm my nerves. I am almost completely calm until I hear a large bang come from below me. I lean over an see a group of men arguing. I cover my mouth from making a sound because these men don't look normal.

I can't even make out the words they are saying. They sound angry and drunk. At least four guys are ganging up on another. One pushes him and he stands his ground. When another lifts his hand to punch him, he catches his fist and twists it until the guy falls. Then they break out. I feel as if I am witnessing a crime, a murder. I don't think I can witness another.

I begin to scoot back up closer to the window but the men are still in sight. One by one, they fall down as this man strips them of their dignity. He is drunk too, because he can barely stand but fighting four other men bigger than him wasn't even close to a struggle.

Eventually he is the only one left standing. He chuckles too himself while he kicks the first guy who threw a punch and then slowly turns around to walk the opposite way. With the moonlight shining, and my heart thumping out of my own chest, I can see clearly the anchor tattoo on his neck as he drunkenly disappears into the night.

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