Home is Where You Are

Chapter 10

I didn't know how to channel my pain. I flushed every speck f that weed and I got rid of the bag it was in. I unpacked my house. It's been a month now.

I started my job at the newspaper place.

I still feel so depressed. My family won't speak to me, Liam, god, he won't either.

I can't handle this.

I can't handle another fallout.

I'm sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The screen is off. It's just black.

Izzy is getting worse. Mum spoke to me once. It was a text, and all she said was Izzy is taking after you with the drugs.

Literally, everybody that loves me leaves me.

Liam, my sister, Hailey, and parents, my grandparents, my cousins, my aunt and uncle.

I'm alone in this world.

I bought a guitar. I'm not a bad singer. I needed to somehow control myself.

If I'm not working or sleeping, I'm either at the gym or playing guitar.

I wrote a song, and it's literally the definition of me.

I haven't spoken to anybody I love in a month. I've texted, but I don't get replies.

I didn't even get a text back from Mum when I asked her if she was serious about Izzy.

It's lonely. It's 1:56 in the morning and all of my lights are on. The sliding glass door is locked and the curtain is pulled.

My front door is locked, and the window in my bedroom is locked and the blinds are drawn there, too.

Somebody knocks on my door.

What the fuck?

Nobody knows here I live except for everyone I love.

And it's late.

It's four minutes-three now, until two in the morning.

Confused, I unlock my front door and open it.

The light in the hall is on.

Izzy.

"Izzy?" I ask.

Tears are sliding slowly down her face.

She looks ill.

She's drunk.

She invites herself into my apartment.

Slowly, I shut the front door.

"You're not a terrible sister!" she starts sobbing. "I'm such a bitch! I wanted a perfect relationship! I thought Tyler was perfect! I really wanted him to be! But he does drugs and he got me on them and I was going to his house because I snuck out and I found him in bed with another girl!"

"Oh, Izzy."

My heart.

I feel terrible for her.

"I should've stuck with you! You're my big sister! You love me! I should've known that!"

I pull her into a hug.

She's so drunk. She hugs me back though, hysterically crying.

"And to make matters worse, I was so jealous of your relationship with Liam that I planted that fucking weed! I'm the reason he left you! I'm the reason nobody will talk to you! I ruined not only myself, but you, and Liam!"