ask.fm ✎ phan au

7.8

Phil

I haven't tried to talk to Dan, by now it makes no sense. He no longer trusts me and I don't know how to make him understand that I understood I was wrong. But I thought of something special.

When the bus accompanied Dan at home, I have memorized the road. This sounds creepy but it's for a good cause, I guess. Today I will find it and I'm so nervous, It's quite close to my home, it will be seven hundred meters. Then I decide I'll do a walk.

While walking the baddest thoughts make space in my head and I began to prepare a speech to make. Or maybe it's better to do it in front of him? Improvised? I have no idea. I arrive at his house, ten minutes after, and breathe, then knock.

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and, "Yes?"

"Dan it's me, open," I say.

Dan remains silent but still doesn't go away. He expects me to tell something. "I feel that you are here. Dan, I'm sorry. I didn't understand a fuck from the start. I prepared a speech on the street but I forgot it, I can only think 'I don't want to lose him'," I say and pause, "I love you"

Dan opens the door slowly and I hug him, "It's true. I should have done this much earlier, I'm so sorry," I whisper.

I know, I know that he doesn't believe me and I can't think of anything, this is my last chance, I put my lips on his and remain so. He doesn't return the kiss either, and I come off.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me"

"Phil," he smiles. "You know I like you a lot, but now I'm the one who want to think. And.. thanks for the– um, thanks for the kiss, I liked it"

"Oh," I smile and stroke his cheek, "Is your mother home?"

"Yes"

"So, do you want to go out or..?"

"No, I was actually studying, I have a lot of homework," he says.

"See that you are beautiful when you smile?" I smile too. "I'll leave you in peace and I'll see you at school tomorrow"

"Okay," he says and walks away, "Bye Phil"

"Bye," I smile.

Then Dan closes the door, and I smile touching my lip with my thumb. Damn, I like Dan's lips.