Don't Let Me Go (Harry Styles fanfic)

The Concert

Harry has to leave early for the concert, they did souncheck this morning, but they have a meet and greet and need to get ready.  I decide to experience the concert as a fan.  Lexi, Sam, and I drive to the venue, and wait in line for what seems like forever. Our seats are center stage, about 10 rows back.  When the boys come on, I can't help but let the smile on my face grow.  Sam still thinks that Lexi and I are making this up since Harry had left before she got home from the library. Harry seems to be distracted, scanning the crowd looking for something, someone, is it me he's looking for? My thought is answered when we make eye contact and he smiles, his whole body seems to relax.  Harry looks in my direction quite often throughout the first few songs.  Then Liam starts talking. 

Liam: "I've seen lots of great signs out there, if you've got a poster, put it up now.  Nice and high" 

I lift mine up.  I made it after Harry left.  It says in big bold letters "FIGHT ME HARRY" with a picture of boxing gloves.  The boys scan the crowd pointing out some good ones.  

Liam: "Uh, oh, Harry it looks like someone wants a fight.  What do you say?" Liam asks while pointing at me.  Harry walks over to Liam and shields the light from his eyes before letting out a little burst of laughter. 

Harry: "I say bring it on" he smirks and I'm pretty sure he winks at me.  I put my sign down and gaze back at him.  

Louis: "I don't know Haz, she looks pretty strong" Louis teases when he sees its me.  

Harry: "I think I can handle her" a bunch of girls have turned and stared at me, and I look down so they can't see my face.  But I figure they don't know who I am anyways, they probably just think he is flirting with a random fan.  The music starts up again and I look up to Harry, he wiggles his fingers at me as if he were reaching out to tickle me.  I shake my head at him and he just smiles and sings his songs.  When the concert is over we make our way to the backstage door and security won't let us in. Thankfully Paul walks over and smiles when he sees me.  I got to know him pretty well when I traveled with them, he's not as scary as he looks, unless you disobey him... then you run the other way.  He pulls me in for a hug which I was not expecting. 

"I see your arm is all healed up" he gestures to my cast-free arm.  I just got it off a few days ago and I feel so free without it.  

"Yep! So, you think you could let us in?" He frowns.

"I'm sorry, I can only let friends and family back here without a pass" What? Am I not a friend?! Paul just gave me a hug, how can they not consider me a friend...?

"Kidding, come on back.  You know Harry has been buzzing to come here.  He really missed you" I blush slightly at the comment and just nod.  We make our way to the dressing room and Paul stops outside the door. "Let me make sure they're decent first" 

"Are they ever decent?" I tease and he laughs as he opens the door and pops his head in. 

"Ay! Boys! You have compa-- what the hell?! What did you do?" I want to see behind that door so badly.  The door opens and Harry is standing in front of it. 

"Come in" he tells us and we cautiously step over various articles of clothes.  One of the mirrors in the dressing room has been completely shattered and there is glass on the floor.  I introduce Lexi and Sam to everyone as Paul stands by practically steaming with anger. 

"Ok, explain" Paul gestures to the mirror and the boys all look like hurt puppies.  But Louis can't help but smirk a bit.  "Louis, what did you do?" Paul knows them all so well. 

"Zayn was looking in the mirror and Louis threw that baseball at it" Liam states and Louis tackles him to the ground scolding him for telling. 

"Why Louis? Why?" Paul is still angry but seems slightly more relaxed. 

"I wanted Zayn to think he broke the mirror from looking at himself too much.  Zayn did you think it was your face?" He questions knowing the answer. 

"No you idiot" Zayn laughs. 

"okay boys, I'll deal with this, you get your stuff and get out of here before someone gets cut open." Paul states and the boys start picking up their things. 

"Wow, who knew Paul was such a pushover, I would have them clean it up themselves.  Maybe a few cuts would teach them a lesson" I say only half kidding. 

"Harry, tell your girlfriend we are no longer speaking" Louis says and turns away from me crossing his arms.  

"Harry, tell your friend he is going to get a time out if he doesn't go cleanup his mess" Harry doesn't say anything he just smiles. 

"But mooooooooom!" Louis whines and we all laugh. 

"Maya's right, I clean up after you guys too much, from now on, if you make a mess, you're dealing with it." I clap at Paul's little announcement and he looks pleased with himself.  Louis starts to pick up the pieces as the rest of the boys collect their belongings from the floor. Paul walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. 

"I think I might have to hire you" he teases in a whisper. 

"Alright lads, see you tomorrow" Harry says and ushers my roommates and I to the door. 

"What? You're not inviting us over?" Niall asks pretending to look sad. I look to Lexi and Sam questioningly.  They shrug and nod. 

"You know what, we've got a big living room, you guys can all stay over if you want." they all smile at my invitation and accept.  When we get back to the apartment, Niall goes to the fridge and heats up some leftover pizza for himself and Harry and I head to my room.  

As I lay in his arms I remember the last night we slept together.  Harry had followed me outside after my nightmare and asked me to promise that I'll try to express my feelings more. He has given me so much, he tells me what he is thinking and feeling all the time.  It's time I give him something in return. 

"Harry?" 

"hmm?" 

"I just wanted to tell you... that.... uhh...." why is this so hard for me?  He sits up slightly in bed, leaning against the wall and I do the same. 

"What is it?" he sounds worried, so I get straight to the point. 

"The past four years or so I have had a bit of insomnia.  It takes me hours to fall asleep and I wake up multiple times a night, and it takes another hour or so to fall asleep... but when I slept with you... I haven't slept that well in years" He smiles a bit.

"I'm glad I could help.  Is it because of the nightmares?" He asks cautiously. I start to turn away, but decide to try. 

"Well sort of.  I only have the nightmares like once a week.  Sometimes more often, sometimes less." 

"When did they start?" I don't know how much more I can tell him.  No one even knows I have nightmares. 

"Uh... about 4 years ago" 

"When the insomnia started?" I just nod and slide back down to a horizontal position, but he doesn't follow.  "What happened?" I can do this, I can tell him, I can talk about it for once in my life.  No, no I can't.  I let out a sigh. 

"I think that's enough for tonight" I say and he slides down and presses his chest against my back and pulls me in tight. 

"Okay, thanks, I know its hard for you to open up, it means a lot to me that you're trying."  He makes me feel good about opening up, I'm very new to the whole sharing feelings things, but I think with Harry, I think eventually I can do it right.  I reach back and put my hand on his thigh that is pressed up agains mine.  he slides his hand into mine and wraps our arms around my waist.  I am asleep within minutes.