Beacon in the Darkness

23. False Security

Camila felt so warm. Not in an uncomfortable kick-back-the-sheets-and-sprawl-across-the-bed-to- try-and-keep-cool sort of warm, but a relaxed, pleasing curl-up-and-snuggle-into-it kind. She was still half asleep and part of her didn't want to open her eyes and fully wake. But something outside of herself kept lulling her toward consciousness. A light touch feathered through her hair and soft, nearly silent lyrics floated through the air surrounding her.

Oh Florida, please be still tonight,

don't disturb this love of mine.
Look how she's so serene.
You've gotta help me out.
And count the stars to form the lines.
And find the words we'll sing in time.

I want to keep her dreaming.
It's my one wish, I won't forget this.

Camila smiled and opened her eyes, her surroundings coming into clear focus. She lay on her side, her face nestled against Shawn's chest. One of her hands splayed across his abdomen and the other tucked between them. Her head lay on his arm which wrapped around and held her tight to him. His fingers pulled lazy lines through the curls just above her ear and vibrations from his quiet singing rumbled beneath her.

So I'll sing a melody
And hope to God she's listening,
Sleeping softly while I sing.

And I'll be your memories,

Your lullaby for all the time,
Hoping that my voice could get it right.

She held perfectly still, at war with herself because on one hand she wanted to tighten her grip and hold him closer, but on the other, she wanted nothing more than to lie there and continue listening to him. Hearing him make music in any capacity had become one of her favorite things, not only because he was so good, but also because he put so much of his soul into it every time. She loved being able to witness that part of him.

If luck is on my side tonight,
My clumsy tongue will make it right.
And wrists that touch, it isn't much, but it's enough.

To form imaginary lines

Forget your scars, we'll forget mine.
The hours change so fast, oh God, please make this last.

She thought back to the night before and to how much pain had been in his face. How exposed he'd been before her. Some people considered vulnerability a weakness, but to her, it was probably the bravest thing she had ever seen. To be able to bare himself so completely, to show her his scars—both the ones on the inside and the outside—took more courage than she thought she could have mustered herself.

Camila closed her eyes once more and just let herself feel. The warmth of his skin against hers, the feel of his voice moving through his body, and the sound of the words reverberating through the room. After a few moments, Shawn tightened his hold on her, buried his face in her hair, and—if possible—sang even quieter, his voice almost a whisper.

You could crush me.
Please don't crush me.
'Cause baby I'm a dreamer for sure
And I won't let you down.
I swear this time I mean it.