Beacon in the Darkness

31. Consequences

The bench felt hard and cold beneath Shawn's legs. Even though the signs of early spring had made themselves known, the air still felt chilly against his skin. People passed by him, their hands in their pockets and their shoulders hunched. No one spared him a glace, and for that, he was glad. He wasn't ready to be seen. Not quite yet. 

In order to guard against recognition, he'd covered his newly short hair with a baseball cap, and then raised his hood over top of that. His eyes were disguised behind a pair of dark sunglasses. He knew he shouldn't be here, in this place, staring the way he was, especially since someone could see him, think he was a punk, and call the cops. But he couldn't help it. It had been so long and he just wanted to see her. He needed to see her, if only for a moment.

He'd only been back in town for a few days. After his discussion with his father about meeting his grandmother, he'd had to endure another two months of waiting. Manuel assured Shawn the wait was just a precaution to ensure Greta Westwood was still on the up and up. He didn't want to risk any type of instance where she may give them up to save herself. Shawn just wanted it over. He was tired of waiting. Tired of being so detached from everything and everyone he cared about. But there was no hurrying his father along. He was determined to do things in the least risky way. Shawn knew it was for his own good, but he just couldn't stand watching the days pass on the calendar, knowing it was one more day away. One more day without them all. One more day without her.

Maybe they'd forgotten about him by now anyway. Maybe they'd moved on. A part of him hoped they had. He wouldn't wish what he felt on daily basis on anyone. Not even Vance—okay, maybe he wished it on him. That douchebag deserved this and more.

Shawn's father insisted he meet with Greta alone the first few times and gauge for himself her words and actions. It seemed she had no concrete proof that Karen's child was Royce's. For now, he decided it was best to keep the confirmation from her. When he felt he could trust her, he would reveal the truth. Shawn wondered how long it could really take to determine that, or if his father was stalling for other reasons.

The last seven months had dragged so slowly. Anticipation was normally a good thing, but when waiting for your life to change—or begin again, as it were—it took on a whole new meaning. And not a pleasant one.

While he waited, Shawn did what he could to keep himself busy and his mind occupied. It was difficult to maintain at all times, but he did his best. He did so well, in fact, that he had finished up all the credits he needed to graduate and walked at the January ceremony. It was a bit of a bittersweet moment. He had his father back, which was something he'd always wanted, even though he'd been angry with him for everything that had happened. But, he didn't get to share the moment with the people who had shown him the most care outside of his father. Clarissa, Mikael, Lauren, Austin and Lance. He wondered if any of them knew he'd actually graduated. If they knew anything at all about him. If they thought about him as much as he did them. Being a part of the Service themselves, he figured they'd be privy to information concerning him, but maybe because he'd lived with them, they were kept as much in the dark about him as he was about them.

He thought about them every day, wondering how college was going for Austin, and how Lauren was fairing in eleventh grade. Did Lance still like comics? Was Austin still with Hermoine? Did Lauren finally find a guy who would not only put up with her control freak nature, but would also treat her the way she deserved? Did Lance even like girls yet? Thoughts of them flitted through his mind during the course of the day. Some of them—mostly the ones that pertained to their well being—lingered longer, but the others just came and went as he moved through this new life.