Her Most Valuable Possession (Law & Order SVU)

No Turning Back

A/N: Sorry this story has been practically neglected! As always...this has triggers until it doesn't. This chapter is going to be a bit more intense though. Xx Lex

Evan didn't sleep at all the night before. She had dark circles under her eyes. She sat against her headboard with her laptop in her lap. She had logged on to the website and was scrolling through the threads. She clicked on the pinned post at the top of the page.

WARNING: If you are a healthy person looking for weight loss tips, turn around and go back now. The people on this site are mentally ill and some live a pro eating disorder lifestyle . We do not accept wannabes here. It's either in you already or it isn't.

Evan knew that she should have just logged out and deleted her profile but she couldn't. There was no turning back now. She was like a person who tried drugs for the first time. She had a taste for more. She went to her profile and decided to customize it. On another tab she searched for weight loss quotes and copied and pasted them into the bar that would create her background. Then with her webcam she took a picture of her thighs. Finally she named herself brokenwings15. By the time she finished all that she heard her Mother up and moving around. She opened up a new thread and started typing.

'Last night was the first time I threw up and I liked it.'

Her computer chimed letting her know she had a response and she was going to open it until she heard her Mom at her door. She quickly shut the lid to her laptop and shoved it under the covers on the other side of her bed.

"Good morning. How long have you been up?" Olivia asked. She crept into the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Awhile." Evan said. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and she was staring at the wall with a picture of the leaning tower of Pisa on it.

"What do you want to do today? Do you want to go to the pier?" Olivia asked.

"If it's ok with you I would just like to be left alone and stay in bed." Evan said.

"It's not ok Evie. None of this is ok." Olivia said.

"Well, I'm sorry! Ok?! I'm fucking sorry that I got suspended which lead to me getting kidnapped. And I'm really fucking sorry I let myself get raped! I'm sorry I'm so fucking stupid! I'm sorry I'm fat! I'm fucking sorry for being born!" Evan shouted. By the time she was done letting out that much self hatred she was tired. She kicked the covers off of herself and stormed into the bathroom where she promptly slammed and locked the door.

Olivia sat there shocked and unable to move. She was processing all the hateful words that had spilled from her child's mouth. Suddenly she burst into sobs and held her face in her hands. She didn't know what else to do.

Evan was sitting against the door crying. And hearing her Mom cry did nothing but made her feel worse. 'What the fuck is wrong with me?! Why am I even like this?!' She thought. She couldn't take it anymore. She reached in front of her and yanked open the cabinet and grabbed her blade. She stood and yanked down her pants and underneath the bandages her Mom put on her yesterday, she began dragging the blade across her thigh. She didn't know how many times she had done it, she didn't care. Relief flooded her body and she slumped against the door watching the blood seep out and onto the tile underneath her. She was in a haze.

Olivia's tears had slowed. She was slowly pulling herself together. She walked over to the door and tried the handle. "Evan...open the door honey. You have a therapy session today." She said. Silence. She was met with utter silence. "Evan! Open this door right now!" She started to panic. She was almost certain of what Evan was doing in there. She started to ram the door.