A Light in the Dark

Chapter 76

A/N: Beware of the awkward hotness! Haha...

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Showers had always been the best place to think and Camila often caught herself staring thoughtfully into the distance as the warm water pelted her skin. This time was not an exception.

Four days had passed since Lauren had invited her to her parents' apartment at Miami Beach, an offer she had eagerly accepted. It wasn't that she regretted her decision. Living in a house with parents and siblings couldn't compare with being alone with her girlfriend in an apartment near the beach.

Her low self-esteem was the real problem. Like always. Being aware of her physical flaws had been a normal part of her life. She couldn't remember a time when she hadn't been criticized for something about her body.

Her crooked teeth had been the very first imperfection her parents had pointed out to her at a very young age, followed by her father's relentless snide remarks about her chubby cheeks. Later on came the rude comments from her classmates about her non-existent breasts when everyone else in school had at least something. Her teeth had gotten fixed over time, the chubbiness had disappeared on its own, but her upper body...

Camila glanced down and grimaced before finally turning off the water. It had almost stayed the same. Her breasts were small, almost not there at all. They were nothing  compared to Lauren's...

Lauren's upper body was basically flawless. But would Lauren expect the same from her? How important was physical attraction in a relationship anyway? Wasn't it an important part of falling in love? Would it cause Lauren to eventually break up with her? After all, if she didn't find her body appealing, how big were the chances that they continued their relationship? There were enough guys and  girls with amazing bodies and looks, Lauren wouldn't have a problem with finding someone new... What if Lauren would rather go back to being friends with her?

No, surely not. Or would she? Lauren probably knew that she had almost a completely flat chest, it wasn't something that she was able to hide. But even if Lauren was okay with it, she still hadn't seen the new additions on her body. Although Lauren knew that the scars existed, she couldn't imagine how horrendous those disgusting things looked... she wouldn't know what hit her. She would be shocked. Camila swallowed the lump in her throat. What if Lauren would turn away in disgust upon seeing them? What if she flinched away from her?

Camila had wanted to wait until her scars were at least a little healed before she took any further steps in their relationship. Since she got them, it had been her plan to wait until they were faded before allowing Lauren to catch a glimpse of her stomach. But how was she supposed to do that when they were going to stay near the beach? Would she be forced to wear a shirt all the time and decline any offer of swimming in the ocean with her girlfriend? Or make up silly excuses on why she was tanning with her shirt on?

Sighing deeply, Camila stepped out of the shower and dried herself off with a towel. Her father would probably have a field day, if he saw her now in a bikini with those monsters on her skin. And while Jacob was right concerning the long incision on her abdomen, the gunshot wound was nothing but an ugly, very visible reminder of her almost death. Why should she be proud of getting shot?

No, she had to stop thinking about things like that. Her head was sometimes still a dangerous place. Granted, it was not as dangerous as it used to be, but it wasn't good either. It would be best to ignore her worries for the moment until... until she couldn't anymore. Now was the time to get dressed, go to her girlfriend and hug her tightly.

Camila frowned and looked around. But where were her clothes? Had she forgotten to take them with her into the bathroom? Another searching look gave her the answer and she groaned loudly. She should really be more aware of what she was doing. Especially when she took a shower while Lauren was just on the other side of the door...