Putting You First (OJ X Marsh)

Where are the Chapters?

*PLEASE READ THIS FOR INFO ON IMPORTANT STUFF*

They're in a dimension where I actually have the energy and creativity to write them...

With Final Exams happening in a month, I just can't focus on writing my fanfictions. I've been working on some Crush X Reader one-shots, and the next one should be out soon, so if I were I'd check that out if you're looking for content.

Now, about the object show fanfics...

I haven't really been all that active when it comes to object shows lately...

Everyone: *GASP* BLASPHEMY!!! YOU'RE THEOBJECTSHOWFAN!!!

Yeah, I know. I still love object shows, believe me, I do. But things in life are just making me not have the energy and creativity to write them. I have no idea what to write in them at this point (teaches me to actually write an outline before I start writing), and I'm just not really feeling like myself lately.

So, if you would allow me to do so, I'd like to explain the crap going on in my life.

1. Final Exams. Yeah, I just said this but I'm gonna say it again. With exams coming up, there's no flippin' way that I'd be able to write (not to mention that I still have projects and school work to do). Six exams in three days (tho if I'm lucky I'll be exempted from some of them)

2. Jack Wrench. Yeah, remember him? Of course you do he's my ultimate crush. Well, guess what? BIG NEWS FOR YOU:

I wrote him an anonymous note telling him how I feel.

Now this happened like weeks ago but I didn't tell you guys about it (I'm sorry don't hate me please).

So, here's the scoop on what happened.

He thought one of our other friends wrote it (Violet from my The Life of a Hopeless Romantic book).

Yeah, not cool at all. It's what I get for being to scared to actually put my name on the paper.

So, Violet told me that he asked her, and she acted like she didn't know about the note (she did tho) and she told him that she doesn't like him that way. So, he now knew it wasn't her. BUT GUESS WHAT.

HE FLIPPIN' LIKES VIOLET!!!

And, I'm actually not that surprised. I've seen the way he acts around her...

I swear, I'm not jealous. I just wanted to make it dramatic lol. But seriously, he doesn't like me that way, I'm cool with it, we're still good friends, there's no point in crying about it. Heck, I haven't cried about it (as much as I wanted to at first).

Here's the funny thing, after he finds out it wasn't Violet, he thinks it's Karli!!! KarliKat129!!! So I eventually write him another anonymous note, saying "So, it wasn't Violet, and it wasn't Karli, so who does that leave?"

Not even kidding, his three suspects were Violet, Karli, and myself.

Anyway, I say we're still good friends, but sometimes I feel like he kinda distances away from me a bit. I don't know, I just feel like everything seems different now. I don't really sense any awkward tension between the two of us now, since he was totally cool about it, but it just felt awkward at first knowing that he knows that I know he likes Violet and knowing that he knows that I know that he knows that I like him (talk about a confusing sentence). But none of these feelings are mutual. So I've moved on with life.

Yeah, I still have a huge crush on him (Jellie forever). But I'm not gonna have him be the center of everything I think about in life. He was recently sick for three days, so he wasn't at school. That kinda gave me a break from seeing him. I think that really helped me actually (tho I felt bad he was sick and hoped he'd feel better of course).

So yeah, he knows now. Whoopee. But, you know, I'm glad I told him. If I hadn't, I would've spent the rest of my life wondering what would've happened if I told him.

Well, enough about Jack. Let's move on to the third thing.

3. New crush.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA WAIT HOLD UP WHAT??????" ~ Every single one of you people reading this

Yeah, I have a pretty major crush on another guy. We go to the same school and we're both in my Drama class (heck it's really the only time I get to see him besides in the hallways).

But here's the thing:

HE'S A FLIPPIN' JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!

(Just in case you don't know, a Junior in high school is an 11th grader)

I'm currently in 9th grade, so that makes him two years older than me.

I can already tell that he has zero interest in me in that way. Well, isn't this depressing.

We're gonna call him Michael (due to privacy of course).

He's really tall (he practically towers over me) and he sometimes talks in hilarious accents! XD

Anywho, continuing.

4. I've been feeling really lazy lately. Boo, this is a stupid point. I really don't care that this reason's stupid, it's a valid point, right?. -_-

5. I've been questioning my existence quite a bit lately. No, I'm NOT gonna commit suicide if that's what you're thinking! I would never do that. I mean, maybe it's just the dumb teenage hormones that are making me feel like crap, but I'm just wondering why I'm here.

6. My creativity is going down the drain. I just don't know what to write when it comes to an entire storyline right now. I think I'd do much better with one-shots right now.

So yeah, enough of me talking about myself. I'm not looking for pity, I'm not looking for comfort, I'm not looking for hate. But I can't stop any you from doing any of that, you all have a free will.

I know, I said that I would continue writing if Jack Wrench reached 100 subs. And look at me, saying that I'm not up to writing. I feel like a total jerk (I originally censored a different word here but I changed it) right now for doing this to you guys, and I'm really sorry, but I'm not here to beg for forgiveness. Just understanding. That's all I ask for.

Just understand that I have a life outside of Wattpad. I'll still read stories, I'll still vote on them, I'll still comment, and I'll even continue to write one-shots and random stuff. But when it comes to the longer stuff, well, let's just say that they're on hold right now.

I have no inspiration, no creativity, nothing to offer in those departments for my longer fanfics. I don't wanna say that I'm depressed, because I have a feeling that there's someone who's gonna say (or at least thing) "Oh, you don't understand at all!" or "That's not what depression really is!" And I don't really think that I'm depressed. I'm just feeling a little down and stressed, that's all. I'm not gonna do something drastic, okay?

Maybe in about a month or so I'll began writing the longer fanfics again. I don't wanna guarantee or promise anything, because I can't do that. Maybe once schools over and I don't have to see my crushes everyday for a while I'll be able to focus on writing again. By not seeing them, I won't think about them as much.

I will still provide content, slowly but surely, with the one-shots and random stuff.

If you read all of this, I give you my deepest thanks, as well as apologies for possibly boring you with all of this. Maybe I dampened your day with this, so I'm sorry.

I truly am.