Summer Thoughts

{ tainted }

06 ● 05 ● 16

She was pretty.

She had a decent face.

She had average grades.

Ah, yes, she was called fat once, apart from other heart shattering adjectives some people called her behind her back.

But she did had a couple friends,

overseas,

they all thought she was great.

A nice voice, plain brown hair, the same dark brown irises that held what seemed to be happiness.

Was it?

She walked the school halls with her hair tucked behind her ears, her sleeves pulled down and her bag sling across a shoulder.

She looked like she had a normal life.

Did she?

A usual lunch bought from the cafeteria, and sitting on that bench was her, concentrating on a book that seemed 346 pages long.

All

Normal.

Yet,

well, not many would call it dying,

but it's more of a

rotting inside.

Happiness wasn't exactly present in her life.

It didn't start from the core.

It all began from her delicate fingertips, flowing from the miniscule veins, then seeping to her very bones.

Her hand caressed her face, fingers splayed against the coldness of her skin as she whispered to the mirror in front of her,

was I always this ugly?

Then the lungs.

Was it air she breathed?

Or was it oxygen, tainted with a little bit of,

insecurities.

It dropped like a cement brick to her pit,

where her stomach screeched banshee's screams to tell her to

stop.

You're

fat.

It pulsed against her eyelids, saying

wake up.

See how much of a failure you are.

And her vision smeared with all her flaws,

all crashing onto her like a tidal wave.

Why?

Those things the people said.

Fat.

Ugly.

Stomach Rolls.

A failure.

Teacher's pet.

Double chin.

Pimple face.

Horrible.

Attention seeking.

They didn't mean anything.

Right?