Summer Thoughts

{ fish in the sea }

It just so happened on a Monday afternoon that I locked eyes with

him.

Sounds cliché.

A bit pathetic, a little hopeless, yes.

But really, its all you can think about when you're stuck in your bed, thick covers pulled up your chin and the only thing occupying your thoughts were his full lips and

brown,

brilliant,

eyes.

We were in one of the places where you simply just brushed past people,

skin against skin, cloth against cloth, the place too crowded for its own good.

There were bustling, a few pardons for getting in the way, but it was rare for shouts or profanities to be heard, everyone just went with the flow.

People were either on their phones or happily chattering away with their companions,

yet as if fate played it all along,

pale blue eyes (mine) under dark lashes met shining, almost gold, brown ones.

Some believe in love at first sight.

And at that moment,

I believed it too.

Our gazes locked for what seemed like eternity,

until the routinely flow of busy people knocked us out of our reverie.

Hastily, I tried to search for the golden eyes,

but to no avail,

there was none.

A twinge of something I can't quite name twisted at the bottom of my stomach, making me feel slightly nauseous and upset.

Had I missed something?

Did the golden eyed boy feel the same thing I did?

An unsettling feeling rested in my stomach and I suddenly felt rage and sadness that made me realize-

I lost him.

In this sea of people,

this mass of many individuals I was sure had an amazing life and story of their own,

yet probably not as beautiful as his,

I had made the tragic mistake of shifting my gaze elsewhere,

and he was gone,

as if he dissapeared into thin air.

I looker at the same spot he were standing, beside a flower shop leaning against a pole, a head taller than most yet I still missed him.

I hoped, I wished for his eyes to return.

For those dark lips that was pulled to a lazy grin,

for his raven black hair that framed his face,

for the strong set jawline and those earphones plugged in his ears,

everything about him at first glance that drew me in.

But he wasn't there.

You can never stay still in the crowd.

Its as if fate had slapped both of us in the face and made it clear that this love at first sight was nothing more than a minor mistake.

And again that dreadful thought, (As if he were already mine!) the thought of him out of my sight pushed me to the point that I was stuck.

In the middle of an always moving crowd.

After moments of stunned silence, I trudged to the nearest bench, feeling like I was going to hurl.

I laughed bitterly, quietly at myself.

I felt stupid.

It was just some boy,

someone I could've just glanced over instead of looking back again,

I should feel-

what?

Remorse?

Lost?

Stuck?

Love at first sight?

But I could've almost known that if our skin touched,

even very gently and simply brushed
against for only a second,

electricity, sparks of spontaneous tingling electricity and swarms of butterflies would've consumed me.

But I kept wondering,

would it have consumed him too?

But he was just another fish in the sea,

having just the opportunity to meet the eyes of the palest blue, and we were to part in separate ways.