Summer Thoughts

{ the other particular fish }

Her eyes were like a pair of crystal gems, the clearest of all the precious stones he could think of.

She felt so close, so surreal when their gazes locked.

Her cropped hair, the kind of brown that shone brilliant under the sun, framed her delicate features; thin, pink lips, thick eyelashes and like he said, the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen.

It was as if she could see through his very soul, her piercing gaze so devoid of distractions and full of attention, so focused and yet, so warm. Even as she was looking, the corners of her mouth were tilted up to enhance her vibrant pink parted lips.

But he made one mistake.

He looked away.

It wasn't really his fault, nor the crowd's, it was just the orderly flow of people walking and bustling about, no harm in doing so and everyone just went with it.

But as much as he didn't want to tear his eyes off hers, people bumped into his shoulder, one elbowed him gently, the pole he was leaning into wanted to be occupied by one very old lady, and she was approximately 10 feet away.

He had to keep his balance and help the old lady from getting a cardiac arrest.

Yet he lost her.

For that one fraction of a second his gaze shifted elsewhere,

panic stirred inside him.

And panic rose to his chest when he realized he couldn't find her.

She was gone.

He was stuck.

Did she feel the same thing he felt?

The unsettling feeling, worried that maybe someday, he'll never see her again.

That maybe they could have been something,

something special, something

beautiful.

And the chance to be so was lost.

But coming back to his senses, he shaked the thoughts off.

She was just a stranger who just so happened to possess alluring, pale eyes.

Girls were never good to him anyway, and the small butterflies in his stomach were quickly demolished by his sharp as steel mind.

His rapidly beating heart slowed when memories, no, nightmares pierced his vision of what happened the last time his heart felt that way.

So he stopped in his tracks, gave up searching for her, and sprinted all the way home, trying to squeeze away anymore nightmares coming to him like haunting snippets.

He figured she would be no good.

He figured she would only rip out his heart, whisper sweet lies to his ear and juggle his fragile trust and faith like a porcelain vase ready to be broken.

Just like what Emma did before.

Because now he was broken, flaws and mistakes etched onto his skin everytime someone he knew walked by, a pitying reputation forced onto his shoulders.

Only in a crowd, in a sea of strangers would he feel slightly better. The thought of people, humans who would never know his story, it would calm him. It was never too loud or too quiet for him there.

But when his eyes met hers, the loud beating of his heart was the only sound that came to him, the only sound that dove into his ears and the only sound that triggered that one warning he always kept.

To keep your heart safe, shielded.