||Prologue||

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(Can we talk about the fact that I tried being cool by kind of having a theme with this cover and MLB's but now it just looks like I'm a creep. Fun.)


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January 10th (Sent at 11PM)

I think I'm in love with him, Jake.

I don't know what it is about him.

He just makes me feel so good and I can't explain why.

He gets me, he understands when I need him, when I need to be alone. He knows where to put his hands on me, if I need to be comforted or if I need to feel loved and appreciated.

The words he says. Fuck. Sometimes I just feel like he should have taken Creative Writing instead. He's so good with his words. Everything that comes out of his mouth sounds like poetry, even if they're just two words. To me they're the best two words in the English language.

It sounds stupid, cliché, cheesy.

I never thought it would be like that between the two of us. Ian of all people? We barely have anything in common.

Did I ever tell you of that time I met his family for the first time? They were all so goddamn happy. Smiling, loving, caring. Mine are like that, but they weren't always like that.

Speaking of which, since I'm sure you're sick of all this mushy bullshit, my parents are thinking of moving into a smaller home for Nic. I told them they were out of their minds, little kid's gonna love living in a mansion later on. I know a small part of me did.

Nic is strange. I know he's only a year old but he just seems to see everything. Like he knows what's going on. He smiles when I hold hands with Ian, or the rare occasions I let him kiss me in anyone else's presence. Nic smiles, like he already knows what love is.

College isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Actually, it's kind of fun. I don't go to too many parties, and Ian doesn't either, but sometimes when we both feel stressed out we go out and dance a bit. Ian ends up tipsy almost every time we do. I'm starting to get used to it and it doesn't bother me anymore.

I never seem to get him out of my head. You can tell, I'm sure. I practically involve him in everything I say. He's everywhere.

How's Raphael? Did you two get to spend Christmas together?

-Nate

January 11th (Sent at 8AM)

Nate,

Raph is great. He had to spend Christmas with his family and I stayed at the library for most of the night. I don't know if I like him anymore. He seems so distant lately, even after we kissed a second time and he admitted to having a crush on me. He likes me back, but things are rough for the both of us and I'm not sure this is the right time for us to be together.

I'm almost done with school while he's still trying to figure things out in his junior year. I'm thinking of getting my masters. I really want to, Psychology has always been so fascinating to me but I might take something else entirely. What do you think? I was contemplating between Management and Sociology. I hear both could help in my career. Maybe Education? I enjoyed the time I spent tutoring you. Was I okay at it though? Let me know.

Sorry this was a rush, I'm swamped with school work. Don't forget to update me on everything.

Jake

Febraury 15th (Sent at 4PM)

I still hate Valentine's day. I didn't mind it when I was single, and I thought it would get better once I was in a relationship, but it isn't.

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