Training Wheels ♥︎ Book 1

Chapter 9

Ben wouldn't let himself fall asleep. He knew Finn cares about him, but he wasn't going to fall asleep in the room of someone he didn't even know, with hardly knowing any background information except for he knew he used to be drunk.

He didn't want for Finn or Rey to see him go downstairs, so Ben looked for another escape plan to get back into the party to see if he'd hurt anyone while he was drunk. He would only stay at the party long enough to check to see if he'd hurt anyone, but not long enough that Finn or Rey would see him. Ben knew it was a crazy plan, but he looked out the window.

It wasn't a long drop down. Ben assumed that if he jumped on top of the lower roof, tiptoed over to his left and jumped down, he would be able to get off the house and right next to the door without being seen or heard, and he wouldn't hurt himself.

Ben unlocked the bottom part of the window and pushed it open. He felt the cold breeze in his face as he pushed his wet hair back once again, it was making him freeze. He looked down to see the flat lower roof around 2 yards below him, so he jumped and landed on the roof as softly as he could. Putting aside the circumstances of the moment, Ben thought about how pissed off Rey would be if she saw him doing this at first, and then she would probably forget about her good-girl side and help Ben get off the roof, laughing as she chastised him. But regarding the circumstances of the moment, Ben just felt sad thinking about Rey and what she'd think if she saw him doing this.

Ben slid against the wall to the left side of the building, watching his feet and hoping they weren't too loud. The people inside the house probably couldn't hear him over the music and partying, anyway.

Ben leaned over and looked down. It was also a safe jump, so he leaped off the building and landed on his feet. He glanced to his right to see the door, heating all the commotion and hubbub inside the house.

Ben bent and tiptoed over to the kick in the door, making sure no one could see him through the door's window. He pulled on the lock. To Ben's surprise, it was locked. Ben had figured that it would be open because there was a party after all, and all the parties that Ben had been to in the last had the front door open so people could get in even after the party started (if they went back to their dorm and came back). Maybe things changed in college for that regard too.

Anyway, Ben checked underneath the welcome mat to check if the drama department had put the key under there. They hadn't. Ben then resorted to his final backup plan: he was going to try and signal someone to open the door for him (hoping Finn or Rey wouldn't notice, Poe either, if he was involved in it).

Ben peeked into the window, tapping it lightly hoping to catch someone's attention. Everyone continued to mingle and dance, but nobody saw Ben. He looked around, seeing if he could make eye contact with someone.

After looking around for a bit, Ben noticed Finn sitting on the couch, grinning widely. He was clearly talking to someone, and Ben looked to see who it was. It was Poe, smiling back at Finn and laughing at something he said.

Ben smiled at what he was seeing. Finn had heed his advice, gotten the confidence to talk to Poe, and to Ben, everything seemed to be going smoothly. Ben was proud of Finn's work (and Ben's advice to him).

Suddenly, Ben felt like he'd had a revelation. He wondered, 'Why was Finn talking to Poe having a good ol' time when I'm supposedly upstairs halfway sober, having no context of why I'm forced to sleep in the room of someone I don't know? He thinks it's all shits and giggles.' Ben could feel himself getting angry. He couldn't control it any day, especially today when he hadn't taken his meds. Another part of Ben's mind told him, 'Ben Solo, control your anger. This isn't Finn's fault, he knew you were safe, and he just wanted to use your advice some time at the party and talk to Poe. It's not like he's purposely leaving you out.' But that part of Ben's mind was drowned out by his anger, and Ben decided to take action on his other thoughts.

Whenever Ben had an emotional breakdown, he didn't have physical control of what he was doing. The anger in his mind would overweigh the sensors in his brain and cloud his thinking. It was almost like how a werewolf works, when it turns into a wolf, it hurts and destroys things but when turned back into a person, it would have no memory of ever hurting or destroying anything. That was how Ben's anger worked as well.

So when Ben knocked down the door of the house, he couldn't even hear it. The loud sound of the heavy door hitting the ground. The shocked screams of the people. He walked slowly towards Finn and Poe, both whom were looking at him with shock and horror. The faces of the people matched theirs, but no one looked as shocked and terrified as Finn. When he reached Finn, Ben knew he had started to yell, but he didn't rn now what he was saying. He saw Finn's mouth moving, but no words came out. Poe had his hand around Finn, and he was speaking too, but Ben could hear a word he was saying. He only heard what he wanted to hear, and at that moment, it was nothing. Ben grabbed a wooden chair by the snack table and threw it at the wall. The people by the wall parted like the Red Sea, looking horrified as the chair broke into tiny pieces and littered the ground. If you hadn't seen it before, you wouldn't have known it used to be a chair. Ben then went over to the wall and started to punch it. He could see the obvious splinters on his fist and the bits of wall embedded in his skin as he smashed then wall, and he was bleeding from them. But he didn't feel or care.

All of a sudden, Ben felt a pair of familiar hands grab his shoulders. Except this time, instead of being a warm embrace as he usually identified those hands with, the touch of the person's hands felt panicked and shaky. Ben swiveled around, breathing heavily.

It was Rey, standing right in front of him with her hands reaching up grasping Ben's shoulders. She was looking him straight in his eyes, tears running down her pink cheeks, looking just as terrified as Finn. She screamed at him with fear, but like the others, no words came out of her mouth. Ben's anger was still just as full-fledged as ever, and he tossed Rey to the ground so she could be out of his way. Poe and Finn stood up right away, and Ben could see that they were yelling, terror written all over their faces. Poe rushed over to Rey to check if she was ok, and Ben ran over back to the snack table to get another wooden chair. He had Finn in his sight.

Ben lifted up the chair and pointed it at Finn threateningly. Finn stood right where he was, shrinking down front e fear and looking like he was about to dart away from Ben. Before he had the chance to do that, Ben ran at him. Ben knew how fast he could run (he was on the track team in his senior year of high school), but to him, everything seemed like it was in slow-motion.

He was charging Finn with a wooden chair. Finn was looking around frantically. The people had their mouth open wide, screaming. Rey was on the ground, wincing, closing her eyes and holding her hand to her forehead (so she had no idea what Ben was doing at that moment). Poe had his arms around Rey, and was screaming in Finn and Ben's direction. Then, all of a sudden, someone came out of no where and tackled him around his side, knocking him to the ground. Ben felt his hip hit the ground, then his arm and his head. The person's body lay on him for a moment, then quickly got off.

Ben could feel again. He had all of his senses back. He could hear the music still playing, and he could hear several girls crying. He was too weak to try and get up, and he felt like he had a concussion. He felt himself blacking out quickly, and the last thing he saw was a familiar redhead with freckles, his green eyes looking down at him with sadness. Hux. Ben used the last of his waking energy to try and reach out to Hux, but his arm collapsed and he saw everything go black.