The Guardian

Chapter Fifteen

"Ow Brian, stop pushing me," I said as he pulled me through the crowded hallways, only causing his grip to tighten on my arm as he yanked me with him into our English classroom.

His dominance seemed to grow stronger ever since our little incident last week, but I was unsure if he had always been this way and I'm only picking up on it now that I'm more aware. 

At least, that's what I tried to tell myself. But deep down I knew that he was simply taking advantage and getting a lot more physical with me. I know I should tell him to ease off a bit, but every time I'm about to say something I get tongue-tied, afraid of the blow about to come. I can handle it though, I have been since I was little.

I'd be lying if I said it hadn't been affecting me, though. I sat in class fiddling with my pen as I stared at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring so I could go home and sleep. Sleep. That's all I've wanted to do lately. 

I was snapped out of my daze when I heard my name called, confused once I saw empty desks surrounding me.

"Ms. O'Connor," Mr. Hayes called again, and I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment. 

"S-sorry, I didn't notice the bell ringing."

"I realized," he chuckled. 

"Have a good weekend," I mumbled as I got up from my desk and hurried towards the door.

"Ali," he said, and I turned on my heel to face him. His blue eyes showed concern. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I nodded before walking closer to his desk.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. "Your grades have dropped from an A+ to a B- and you haven't been paying much attention in class, it's not like you." 

Shit, I thought to myself.

"Just stressed is all," I lied through my teeth. "I have a lot of big exams coming up, so hopefully once they're all done with I can be back to normal," I said, faking a smile. 

He nodded. "I hope so as well. Have a good weekend, Ali," he said with a smile. 

I smiled back and left the classroom, feeling guilty that I just lied to Mr. Hayes when I knew all he wanted to do was help. And I'm pretty sure he didn't believe one word I said to him. 

The reason for my lack of attention in class and dropping grades was obvious, I haven't been myself. I was depressed. Why? Same reason I was depressed a few years ago. I felt weak and worthless, I felt lied to, I was afraid of being hurt. I was already hurt, but I was afraid of the pain being worsened. I lost all motivation, but I had to fake a smile and push through... all because Niall couldn't know. Yes, I could blame it all on my dad again, but Niall would realize my dad's away on 'business.' It was too obvious. I couldn't even tell my best friend, so why would I tell my teacher? I didn't need anyone else to get involved... this was between me and Brian, but mostly a battle between my heart and mind.

***

Niall came over after school to hang out for a little and work on our English assignment together. It's ridiculous that Ms. McCaulliff gave us so much work over homecoming weekend, but we got most of it done before I realized what time it was and decided I needed to get ready for the dance.

"You can stay if you want," I giggled.

Niall shrugged. "Got nothing else to do, I'll be downstairs." 

I sat down in front of my mirror and plugged my curling iron in, turning the heat all the way up. I was impatient when it came to stuff like this, so I just wanted it to be hot enough within seconds.