The Guardian

Chapter Twenty One

[thank you guys SO much for being patient, waiting for an update! luckily, this chapter flashes back alot so it'll recap a little in case you forgot since it's been awhile! enjoy xx]

Niall's POV

"You what?!" I asked in disbelief.

"I don't want to sit home anymore, Ni. I-I feel like there's something wrong with me."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Like... I know my life isn't exactly normal or anything but I want it to feel normal. I don't want to be a sob story stuck living in my own misery. I want to be back in a routine... a distraction from it all."

"But Ali, everybody knows something happened. You know people are gonna look at you and they're gonna ask questions. Do you really want to throw yourself into that right away?"

"Niall, regardless of when I go back, they're still gonna stare and people are still gonna be nosy and annoying."

I tugged on my hair, sucking in a deep breath.

"Ali, I just don't think it's a good idea to go back yet... especially tomorrow..."

"Why?"

"I don't know... well, now Brian's gonna look pretty beat up tomorrow and that'll just lead to more questions and-"

"And what?"

"I'm just looking out for you, okay?"

"Just because I don't have a proper father in my life doesn't mean that you have to act like one!" she shrieked, the hurt in her voice shooting through me like an arrow to the heart.

She stood up from the couch and began to run towards my bedroom. I groaned, following her up the stairs. I stood in my doorway to watch her cry into my pillow, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. But I shouldn't. How does she not understand?

"Al?" I whispered, kneeling beside her. "I'm just worried, okay? You don't understand how hard it was for me to see you like that in your room. I thought I was gonna lose you..."

"But you didn't," she choked.

"Thank god. But I just don't want you to be around all the inconsiderate assholes we go to school with, because I don't want them to bombard you with questions or anything just yet because they're bound to find out everything. I'm gonna have to deal with a shit ton of it all tomorrow when they see how bad Brian looks. I don't want things to get worse for you before they can even get better."

She sniffled a little before finally nodding her head in understanding.

"If I can't go to school yet, can I at least see Ella? I think she deserves a bit of an explanation."

**

Ali's POV

"Ali!" she shrieked, throwing her arms around me as I opened up the front door. "Where the hell have you been?! It's like you died or something!"

I laughed nervously.

"Funny story, actually," I said, my voice weak.

She let go of the hug and looked down at me, her tall, model-like figure appearing taller than usual. She seemed to tower over me as I began to feel vulnerable and small again, and I metaphorically shrunk inside my own skin.

"What's wrong, Al."

I sighed, walking her over to the couch.

"Let's just say I found use in my old journal again... but this time not to get rid of the emotions. To drown myself in them."