login ; min yoongi

二十 | twenty.

i had yoongi's number ready to call the second alice woke up.

i had volunteered to stay the night with her...i wouldn't have minded staying alone, but ms reynolds insisted on staying as well. of course, she was her mother - it must be nice to have a mother love you so much. i wondered how it felt.

alice was quite disoriented when she finally opened her eyes, and the monitor by her bed starting beeping frantically- ms reynolds immediately called for a nurse. i had my eyes squeezed shut the entire time. i was too scared. frightened. useless.

so i called yoongi, and told him she was okay. his voice sounded raw, cracking from time to time as he thanked me for keeping an eye on her and keeping her mother company. he apologised for not being there, for not knowing but then i heard jimin hush him and tell him nothing was his fault and that he should go back to sleep. they hung up on me, and i was left alone with ms reynolds and a sleeping alice. 

she insisted i call her sarah, but i told her i wasn't raised to call an elder by their first name. we talked about the differences in korea and england, and she taught taught me some english while i taught her korean. i think she liked me, and i was glad. i really liked alice...

dating her was out of the question though. 

it wasn't safe for her, it wasn't safe for me either- who knew what the future held for her health? 

i was sitting by her bed (ms reynolds had gone to the café, saying she couldn't survive another hour without tea). my phone was out of battery, and alice was asleep - i, as an immature, naive eighteen year old boy, was in desperate need for entertainment. i didn't realise i was singing until alice woke up and muttered out a sarcastic remark. i blushed. 

"why are you here?" she asked.

"because i like you and i want to keep you safe."

she laughed. "okay, mr spreading legs. where's my mum?"

"she went to get tea."

she hummed, before closing her eyes again. "i'm sorry you have to deal with me. you can go home anytime you like, you know. i don't—"

"no. i will stay. you are my friend and i am your friend so it makes sense."

and i don't know what came over me after that, but i found myself reaching over and gingerly pushing her hair back from her forehead. i pecked her skin, and stood up immediately, surprised at my actions.

"i need the toilet." 

with that, i left the room, bowing at a confused ms reynolds who was holding three mugs of tea. i think one of them was for me, but at the moment, i didn't care. 

my heart was beating stupidly, recklessly out of my chest. i cringed, running to the toilet and pushing myself into a cubicle, before throwing my head into my hands and laughing in embarrassment. 

god dammit, jeon jungkook. you need to learn to control yourself.