login ; min yoongi

二十八 | twenty eight.

or
alice (the end of) pt.1

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im so sorry, yoongi: hey alice!!!!!!

im so sorry, yoongi: we're going out for more pizza!! you're coming right

im so sorry, yoongi: i think im going to ask jimin about 

im so sorry, yoongi: our relationship

im so sorry, yoongi: before i forgot everything

im so sorry, yoongi: wish me luck, okay???

im so sorry, yoongi: are u sleepin wake ur lazy ass up 

im so sorry, yoongi: alice???

im so sorry, yoongi: iS THIS DEJA VU

im so sorry, yoongi: by e im texting your mum if u dont wan wish me luck then so be it ill be chattin it up w mama rey 

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min yoongi: hello ms reynolds.

min yoongi: i hope you're having a nice day! 

min yoongi: um

min yoongi: where's alice??

ms reynolds: i haven't seen her for a while- she said she was going to see you?

ms reynolds: i'll check her room. 

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i love you.

i'm so sorry. please be happy now.

writing a suicide note is weird. knowing that, when people read this, i won't be alive is both scary and reassuring. 

please be happy in my place  — i'm going to die anyway, so how can i be happy?

how can i wait and watch as everyone suffers because of me?

please don't feel bad. it's my fault that i can't feel at peace knowing that my time is limited anyway. 

i think i smiled for the first time in quite a while, when i was with you guys; it felt great. i will say goodbye with a smile. i love you so much. thank you for being my family. 

jungkook please don't be sad!! be happy because now i can watch you perform in the best seat from the clouds. ok wow how do i cross this out im writing in pen this was supposed to be a one try thing. i love you. your goofy smile. your hugs. that one time you kissed me and i felt the need to survive just for a little bit. but i don't deserve you, jungkook. 

jimin. i can't even write a suicide note without making a fool of myself. i'm sorry i couldn't listen to your advice, but thank you for taking care of me and letting me do what i wanted. you're beautiful. please tell yoongi how you feel. 

taehyung!! i love you!!!! thank you for making me smile on the saddest days. you're still my lockscreen. 

jimin told me what you had been through, hoseok. i'm so proud of you both for making it through what i couldn't. please keep smiling  — your smile holds stars that put whole galaxies to shame and i love that about you. 

seokjin!! i never got to try your cooking, which was disappointing :(. please cook for me when we're in heaven, okay? i love you. you're beautiful.

namjoon; i know you saw me that day. don't feel bad. i love you — keep doing what you do, and tell seokjin you love him every day!!  never doubt yourself. 

and now, park mingyu. hAH.

yoongi, i love you; i've said that to everyone but i especially mean it when i say it to you. you made my last days worth it. and while i don't believe anyone can understand what i'm feeling right now, you're closest to it. you know what a hospital bed feels like. you know what not wanting to survive feels like...i hope you never have to experience those unwanted feelings ever again. i wish for you to be happy. please be happy.

mum!!!!!!! i ! love ! you ! i love you mum. i hated being a burden to you. i hated watching you cry because of me, or because of dad. please don't think of us as sad memories; remember the good times and smile. you don't have to worry about me anymore. i love you.

all of you. 

remember me. 

I LOVE YOU!

goodbye. 

-alice, putting an end to this dumbass suicide note, and yes those are my tears all over the page.