why we fall apart

seventh ; why we fall apart

Alex stumbled in the room much later than he'd ever been. The door didn't slam shut.

I looked over and saw him slump against the doorframe, leaving the door to swing aimlessly. He was carrying a bottle of vodka and was clearly drunk.

"Hey, Gracie." He slurred. I rolled my eyes and resumed working on my homework.

"Wanna drink?"

"Sure." I walked over, closed the door, picked up the bottle, and slapped him in the face.

"What'd you do that for? My face feels funny." He laughed.

"You're drunk. Now sober up, and get to bed and sleep off whatever problem you're having." I emptied the bottle into the bathroom sink amidst his drunken, half-hearted protests.

I helped him up and he kicked off his shoes before falling into his bed, laughing about something.

An hour later, he spoke again.

"You think that everyone is beneath you because they have emotions. Because they admit that they're human." He said calmly, the slur gone from his voice.

My grip on the pen I was holding tightened.

"You're human too. I think you forget that sometimes because you're so caught up in trying not to feel. But you know what else I think?" His voice lowered to a whisper but I could hear his words clearly, cutting through the room like a blade. "I think that you're just pretending like you can't feel anything because you have too many emotions. More than the rest of us can even begin to comprehend."

My hand shook and the words became sloppy as they scrawled across the page.

"And that scares you. It scares you to feel so much. And it hurts to have emotions."

The pen broke and ink flowed out onto my hand and the paper I was writing on. It leaked over the edge of my desk and dripped onto the floor.

I stood up, shoving my chair back abruptly and whirled around to face him.

His face was passive as I addressed him.

"You don't know anything about me. You don't know why I'm here. You don't know what my life was like before. You don't know what it feels like to be me. You can't judge me for what you don't know."

"Care to share?"

"Shut the hell up, Alex."

"Goodnight to you too."