Back For You

cнapтer 4

Sybil P.O.V

No

Why are they doing this to me? Taunting me?

With a lookalike of the man I gave my heart to! But they didn’t know my feeling for Tom, so could this be just a coincidence?

Whatever it is.

When I stepped into that room and I just saw him standing there I knew, it wasn’t Tom.

Tom was at war, fighting for his life but I want him to be here with me, well not here but with me somewhere where we could be together without being judged.

“Oh Darling here you are!” My mother pronounced, proud as if to show how happy and proud we were but we were far from that.

“Yes, here I am!”

“This is Mr Porter!”

He turned to me, and smiled but I just couldn’t get Tom out of my head.

“Well this is sort of an awkward greeting but Sybil, Mr Porter and Papa have been talking about you and what you plan to do!”

“What do you mean?”

“Sybil, Mr Porter has come to ask for your hand in marriage!”

That was it...

My heart stopped and I just stared at Mama, then at Mr Porter.

They couldn’t do this to me...

Tom

That’s all that was going through my mind.

This man, who I didn’t know, who didn’t know me. Was asking to marry me and out of all the books I have read through-out my life, surely you marry for love and not because you would look good together in a picture.

“No!”

That was all I said then I ran, as fast as I could to the one place I knew my love for Tom would be accepted, to the last place I had seen him, the place where he declared his love for me.

Yes to you it may sound stupid and you may think that I am just some stupid little school girl crying over a crush, but this is more than anything to me, and if I know my mother ten she won’t take no for an answer.

I needed to tell Tom and I needed Tom to tell me what to do.

“

Dear Tom,

My Tom, it pains me to have to write this letter to you and to bring you this awful news when you are fighting and probably in pain yourself.

But Tom I am confused. More than confused more like lost and I am in desperate need of your advice.

Tom you must know how much I love you, and how I want to plan a life with you; to live in Ireland and for us to never have to worry about anything ever again.

But as you and I know, life isn’t always so simple.

Today Mama brought a man to the house, and at first I thought it was you, I wanted to jump in to your arms, for you to hug me tightly and to tell everything was going to be okay.

But I knew it wasn’t you, the way he stood, the way he spoke! He seemed proud because of the clothes he was wearing, but you didn’t have to wear smart clothes to be proud because you could be proud by the words you spoke. They are worth more than any suit he could buy!”

I couldn’t write anymore, I just couldn’t!

But I knew I couldn’t leave Tom with a letter like this, full of heartbreak and then with no conclusion.

So I dried my face and tried to write as best as I could.

“It’s funny really to think that only a few months ago we were planning to runaway together, and now here I am writing a letter to you hoping you’ll understand that I never wanted you to leave. This man has asked for possibly the most difficult thing of me, my hand in marriage.

Please continue to read as I want you to know that I would and will wait a thousand or more years to see you and to hold you. But you as well as I know how persistent my Mother is and how she will get her own way.

I wish to say no to say to him I can’t because I am in love with somebody else, but I know I can’t.

No because I want to hide my love for you, but to protect you from the harm of my Mother.

But on the chance that you do write back in reply to tell me to wait, I will.

Mama does not know I am writing this, and can you guess where I am right now?

I’m in the place where I first realised I loved, the place where we could about anything talk about everything. Please write and tell me what to do Tom, I am so confused and you have to know how much I love you! If you don’t back I will understand and I will go on with my life and if so I wish you well.

Forever yours

Sybil

x”