Damaged by love

Chapter4

My head was buzzing with so many questions. It seemed like my brains would explode if I didn't get my answers. Why wouldn't they sympathise with me and give me some direct answers.

It was as if a repeat loop was being played in my mind, a loop of questions. But the answers were yet to be found. I was going insane, trying to make sense of the events that occurred in my home.
No one was willing to cooperate with me.
was I being taken for granted!!. Is what I kept asking myself.

Is it my fault that I care too much??I wondered to myself.
I'm all alone facing my nightmare all by myself and no one would even hear me out.
What's the point of having a family when no one attempts to console the other in times of dire need.
What does family mean to the rest of them!!!.
...............................................
I sat in my bedroom with my baby brother sitting on my laps. I kept stroking his hair.Running my fingers through his hair I kept arranging and rearranging his hair.
I was lost in my thoughts for quite a long time. It was Sharf's snoring that pulled me out of my thoughts.

He fell asleep while I was stroking his hair, he always liked it. I wondered what it felt like for him to be comforted by me. He's still a child he didn't normally express his feelings except for hunger and thirst. I wished he shared all the feelings in him with me.
Sadness, anger,joy, excitement all of it, I wanted to be the first person that he shares it with.

"You must be real tired!!" . I whispered to him and rested him on my lap.
I stroked his chubby cheek and stared at his angel face.
"Do you realise how I felt when you weren't home!!". I softly whispered.

I placed him on my bed beside Amaan.
I kept admiring his cuteness. I felt happy looking at him, peacefully asleep.
"I've been through hell, now that you are fine I dont care anymore". I told myself.

I sat beside the bed and took a good look at both my younger brother.

Sharf is very fair, he could easily be mistaken for a girl. His eyelashes are long and thick, his nose small and cute lips that always get tinted with the colour of his favourite ice-cream.
Sharf looks like an angel when he is sleeping, but once he's awake his brown eyes get brighter showing his notoriousness intents.
Even though he is a mischievous kid most of the time I love him more than anyone.
He is my cute devil and I promised myself to be protect him forever.
I'd put him first above all else.

But, I also have one more who is in need of me but right now he is sleeping too.

I looked at Amaan's face and kept wondering how could anyone sleep so comfortably despite the pain.
I saw his bruises, they looked very awful and yet he's sleeping very comfortably.

If there was a way to take his pain go away, I'd take it on me.
But I know, it's my too naive self giving me false comfort in the idea.
For now, I know I can't take away his pain but I can make sure he doesn't repeat this kind of situation ever again.

I stood up and kissed Sharf on his fore head and next I kissed Amaan on the forehead.
'My kiss for the both of you is a promise. A promise to protect you both at all cost'. I silently pledged to myself and headed for some answers.

I closed the door. On the other side along with my two younger brother I left my sensible self.
I have no patience left in me and I know exactly what I needed to do to get my answers.

I headed to the kitchen. I went through the kitchen drawers looking for a knife.
I looked through the the drawers but couldn't find one.