64 Hours

37 h0urs

~the thirty-seventh hour~

"There's something disturbing about recalling a warm memory and feeling utterly cold." -Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

I was so close to killing the one thing I was trying to protect.

Aria. The sister who used to create paper planes with me even when she was a girl of 15; Aria, the sister that worked herself to the bone all day to keep her child under a roof one day; Aria, the sister that I solemnly looked at two hours ago and tightened the rein on my promise to never let go of her. 

And I was actually considering pulling the trigger only half an hour ago. 

Insane, right? Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't sleeping right at all, or maybe because Unknown was disintegrating my true beliefs into something else - turning me into someone else. 

10. Break yourself. Watch yourself collapse. Watch yourself turn into a monster, and reconsider how much you actually will risk to save your family.

I shuddered and came to a final resolution on his last instruction, which in truth wasn't an instruction but something Unknown would trick me into doing. 

I remembered pensively about my arrival towards Mr. Lakes's meeting and closed my eyes. He already did. 

"How much did you already do?" 

Bella's quiet and musical voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked back at my shaken niece, who was wearing fashionably ripped black jeans and a deep red-velvet tank top that exposed her stomach. 

"Huh?" I blinked at her. 

"How much of the list did you do?" She asked again, her voice slightly quivering and for a moment Bella suddenly sounded much older. Well, she was certainly dressing much older. 

"What are you wearing?" I bitterly tried to change the subject, giving an irritable glance at her vulnerable makeshift outfit. 

Bella glared at me. "Why do you care? You just held up a gun to Mom's head a few minutes ago." 

I was about to open my mouth to argue, but hesitated. I was supposed to go on my knees and apologize. It must've been terrifying for her. She was still so young. 

I had a lot of explaining to do to her. 

"You're right. I'm sorry." I breathed out.

"And?" Bella raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at me. I stared. She was so much like her mother. 

I cleared my throat and my eyes flew to the table in front of me. I tried to occupy my dangling hands to distract myself from the fear, so I sank my nails into the fleshy part of my palm. 

"And I want you to know that I did some stuff that I'm not proud of. To protect you. You know how much I love you-" I started, but Bella stopped listening after the first sentence. She widened her eyes and stood up, backing away slightly. 

I looked to my room where the bathroom was. I willed Aria to finish her shower immediately. How was I supposed to deal with Bella? What was I supposed to say? Should I have lied? 

"Don't be scared!" I nearly begged. "I didn't do anything. I didn't kill anyone." Yet. 

Bella relaxed but only slightly, the hairs on her arms still raised. "What did you do then?" Before I could think of an answer Bella corrected herself. "Actually, why do you have a gun?" 

"Um, it was on the list." 

"Oh," was all she said.

It was awkwardly quiet while we waiting for Aria even though I knew Bella still had tons of questions buzzing in her mind. Then I could feel the tension being lifted and the silence wasn't awkward anymore. It was comfortable. It gave us both the wiseness and mind to just think. 

"Adam," Bella called out, something flashing in my eyes. I could read it. It was something like don't-screw-up-again. Before she could continue, Aria stepped into the living room wearing sweats and a red shirt, her hair dripping onto the floor. 

"Are you guys okay?" 

"Yeah." Bella and I replied in unison. We exchanged glances, and my sister pursed her lips. "You have a lot to tell me." 

And I told her. 

Everything. From the beginning to the end and with detail. I even told her about cheating on Olivia, which I made Bella get out of the room while I explained everything to my sister. Aria was shaking her head. 

"You son of a bitch." 

"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." I said pathetically, my eyes dropping to my lap.

"That isn't enough," she replied in a platonic and accusing voice, "don't expect her to forgive you, Adam. You broke her heart. I just can't believe that this Adam...our Adam is capable of such things."

"I'm sorry," I whispered again, but Aria wasn't looking at me. She was looking at my phone, which I just realized was buzzing at my side. I picked it up, my head aching with trepidation. I glanced at Aria, who nodded. 

I read the text twice from Unknown. 

11:06 AM: Stop talking or she dies. 

Too late for that, I thought triumphantly. I already told her everything. Maybe Unknown's source of cameras were delayed.  But then I remembered that Unknown was always at least ten steps ahead of me. 

I showed Aria the text and I saw her grit her teeth. At least now I have proof that it wasn't her. 

"It doesn't make sense," I said slowly, analyzing the text. "Unknown would know that I told you everything." 

"Unless...you didn't tell me everything." 

Abruptly Bella opened the door that divided my room from the living room. "Mom it's time to take me to Camilla's party." 

"Party?" I echoed incredulously, Unknown momentarily forgotten. So that was what those skimpy clothes were behind. I met Camilla once when I was taking Bella and her home from school. She was a fake-blonde who was four years older than Bella and probably encouraged her to wear this weird getup. "She's too young for parties. Especially Camilla's." 

"I met Camilla's mother. She's nicely brought up, and Camilla was especially kind to Bella. I know you're trying to be like a father to her but she has a social life, Adam," Aria told me, eyes shining. 

"No." I shot back stubbornly. "Why did you let her dress like this?" 

"You're not my dad!" Bella hissed at me, looking like a teenager even though she was far from it. 

"Yes, Adam, just let her go." Aria narrowed her eyebrows at me.

Suddenly the mood shifted.

"What, are you a teenager too? You're making it so hard for me to protect you!" I exploded, aware of the froth splaying out. 

"We don't want your situation to change her life. Please. We have to make it normal. Don't include her into the problem," Aria told me quietly and I noticed the urgence in her monotone voice. 

I sighed. She was right, as much as I didn't want her to be. Whether I liked it or not, this was Bella's life. And I wasn't going to change it for her.

"Fine." I growled. "Go." 

As I felt both of their scorching stares on my skin, I turned my heel and faced my back towards them, the hour tattoo on my back tickling my skin. It was if the time was actually ticking against my blood with every second.

And with every second I was breaking.