Chapter 21|| I Want To Be Free

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Everyone is finished eating the small feast Llayla crafted for us. Aiden took Arabella around to see the town from the eyes of a "True Deemis Villager." Meaning they will most likely be ending their tour in the local pub.

"Hey, big man, care if I take a seat?" Llayla calls from behind me.

"Not at all," I sigh, raking my hands through my hair for the thousandth time.

"Lea, ye like her," she states bluntly, and my head snaps to her instantly. "Yea, I know. I've never seen ye this way with anyone, Lea. How long have ye felt this way?"

I go to open my mouth, but she interrupts, "Don't ye even think about trying to lie to me."

I sigh, "Since the first day."

Llayla nods. "Aiden, knows?" I nod. "Arabella doesn't?" I shake my head. "Why the hell not?"

"It's complicated," I huff.

"I'm sorry yer going to have to explain to me why this is so complicated. Ya like her. I know she likes ye, so the problem I see is the fact that ye haven't manned up, and done anything about it. God, Lea, sometimes I seriously wonder about ye."

"What?" I stutter out.

"What? What?" She asks appearing confused.

"She likes me?"

She rolls her eyes and releases a heavy sigh, "I swear ye men are lost without us. Yes. She likes ye, but she won't do anything about it."

"Why not?" I question.

"From what I've gathered she hasn't left that damn castle all her life. Ye really believe she has much experience in, ye know, all of this?!" She asks, waving her hands around. I am an idiot. Of course, she wouldn't.

"But you forget, my status," I slump into my original state.

"Ye daft man. The woman is traveling from town to town with yer rebel army in the same dress for the past three days, not taking a bath since today, and ye really believe she gives a damn about yer fecking status. March yer arse over to the Tavern, and get yer girl," she finished, pushing me off the step, causing me to chuckle nervously.

"Okay, then. I will, but I swear. If you're wrong-"

"I'm not," she smiled brightly.

I take a long swig of ale and leave Llayla in search of Arabella. She's right. I've been acting like a woman. I like Arabella. There's no reason why this can't be. I'm coming for you, Mo Misneach. I smile, gaining my courage with each step. I get to the pub, rub my face a few more times, and stare at the door.  I can do this. I blow out a rather long breath and enter.

There's music playing on the lifted stage, wenches dancing with drunk men, young couples making loving glances at once another, and over in the corner out of the view of most is the fiery beauty that captured my heart. 

I walk straight towards her, and Aiden turns in time to greet me, "Lea, it took you long enough. Have a drink, on Josh!" He cheered to a chorus of laughs, and one singular moan from the unlucky bastard. Arabella waved me over to the newly cleared space beside her, greeting me with a sweet smile that seemed to waver slightly. Did she take the herbs today? I found myself questioning. She must have. She wouldn't have forgotten something as critical as that. Would she? I slip into the spot on the bench made for me, and lean towards her.

"Did you take the herbs today?" I whisper into her ear. She meets my eyes, and gently shakes her head, 'no'. "If you'll excuse us. I came on Llayla's orders. We'll be right back," I told the men, taking Arabella's hand into mine, and gently tugging her out of the seat when she attempted to protest. Stubborn as ever. When we are out of the reach of the pub and alone, I turn on her, "What were you thinking, Arabella?" I ask anger, for the carelessness over her own life, taking over me. 

"I just forgot. The day and the excitement got ahead of me. It's not anything to wo--"

I close my eyes tightly trying to suppress the thoughts running through my head. I don't want to scream at her. Oh, Lord, yes I do! "For the love of God, do not finish that sentence, Arabella," I said every word slowly, holding the weight of her life.

"Leathan," she gasped. "What is the matter with you?" I see a little hurt behind her emerald eyes but ignore it. 

"You!" I growl. "You have no care for your own well-being. You have to take those herbs every day, sometimes twice, if it's bad, but here you are not taking any. I want to know why because I forgot, is not good enough?" I finish. I can feel the sting in my eyes. The tingling in my fingertips.

"I don't know! Is that what you want to hear, Leathan? I don't know. Maybe sometimes, I have moments of selfishness. I just want to feel what it's like to live without the help of a plant. I want to be free from it. I want to be better. I want to be free," she says, tears streaming down her face. It's a sight, I am not prepared to handle. I slowly close the gap between us, trying to offer comfort. I hold her soft face between my giant rough hands, using my thumbs to wipe away her bits of fallen despair. She subtly leans into the touch. Her eyes closing shut seeking any comfort I can offer. 

"Mo misneach," I whisper to her over and over again, holding her body protected safely in my embrace. She lets out a staggered sigh and sniffles.

"What does moe-mis-hnoc mean?" She asks, her voice horse.

I can't help the small smile from her mispronunciation. "It means my courage. You are my courage. You are stubborn and innocent. Frustrating and kind. Understanding and curious. My fire. Arabella, I too am selfish. You wish to be free, and I wish to hold you close and never let go."

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Hey, fellow bookworms! OMG! It finally happened, he confessed! I hoped you all liked the chapter! Feel free to comment below, and if you liked it, be sure to vote! Thank everybody for all of your support! You guys are rockstars! I update every Tuesday and Thursday.

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