DEATH'S HEART

Chapter 13 (Radish Fiction Version)

The gasp of air pained me as my eyes opened only to see the dreariness of white. I squinted at the sight of the ceiling. My whole body shook.

My body?

I raised my trembling fingers in front of me, the left one had been covered with adhesive to keep a tube attached. With wide eyes, I shook my head. "No!" I whispered. It can not be! I tried to flee but this body weighed me down. This girl. This girl! For the first time, I laboured for breath. This girl is weak! I ranted frantically in my head. I sat myself up. I do not belong here!I looked at those hands once again, and grimaced in disgust at the sight of the flesh that was apparently mine. I ran let those hands run up and down my arms, my legs, my chest, and my stomach. It was all real. This body was real, and it was mine. I felt my jaw tighten with anger as I remembered that part of me took on a human form. It was a challenge accepted many, many, many lifetimes ago. My fingers wrapped around tightly around the thin sheets that covered me. The memory that was flooding my mind frustrated me. Why would I take on a human form? What was the point?

I turned my head towards the glass window, and my mouth fell open at the sight of my reflection. I looked frail in a green and white striped gown, and my disheveled black hair falling down to my elbows seemed to drown my frame even more. I had bandages plastered over my forehead. Blue and purple bruises accompanied the swelling around my cheekbones.

This girl! I snarled at the reflection. I remembered seeing her standing before me. She was scared at the sight of me, and I curious with the familiarity. Flashes of that particular scene entered my mind. The man I was supposed to claim had attacked her. He had seen the resemblance in our eyes; the senses of a dying man can not mistake the connection. This girl and I were the same being, but only one was vulnerable in her human form.

The human form, I said brusquely in my mind with gritted my teeth. I was a being of great power, yet the weakness of this creature overwhelmed me. How could this body not remember who and what she was? I staggered to get out of bed. Even my limbs refused to walk lightly just for a few steps away from the hospital bed. The weight of this body was heavy. It was as if I was shackled to the ground. I was about to approach my reflection when the tubes from this contraption pulled me back. I followed the end of the tube with my eyes, and saw the source of the fluid that was being forced into my veins. I screamed with rage as I clawed the tube off my hand. A groan escaped my lips at the sharp pain whipping my skin. Pain. I am not supposed to feel pain! I cried in silence, staring at the redness of the fluid that pooled on the surface of this hand until it trickled down on the floor. Blood! My blood dropped on the floor like rain...Sacred blood that was wasted on this lowly place!

I returned my gaze to the reflection on the window and studied myself. I shuddered. This body!This human body. Weak! So weak! This girl is weak! I continued to shriek in my head as I dug my fingers through my hair. My warm blood spilled into my raven black strands until it touched my scalp. I walked closer to the reflection, staring intently at the crystalline orbs of royal purple. This girl is alone. Just as nature intended her to be. I could feel her longing.Longing to belong? Why? I tapped into her memory, and I found myself gnashing my teeth. She submitted to the scorn of these humans! I slammed my hands on the clear glass, smearing it with blood. My fury burned. I refused to acknowledge that I was this girl!

How can she possibly forget who she is? What she is? Why did she let these low lives hurt her? She has the power to wipe the entire human race without having to move! How did she allow them to do this to her? Why is she even frightened? I circled my palm on the reflection of my face. "Why have you let them make you feel less of yourself?" I hissed. "It is time to remember who you are! How must not feel fear! How can you even feel fear when even the master of the devils clamber in your presence?" I stepped back and touched my face. This girl is Death. I am this girl. A consciousness I breathed into life. I felt my body shake once again, emotions exploded within me, and I had no control! You can not be scared! I commanded. There is no such thing as immortality among the Holy, Fallen or Blessed while I exist! I can not be scared!

Humanity was so fragile that it was overpowering every ounce of strength I had. My breathing quickened at a sound that knocked in my ears. What is that? I closed my eyes. Heartbeat. It was louder than what I had ever heard. Fast. Pounding. It belonged to me. It was deafening. My eyes closed tighter as I slid my hands over my ears. My tolerance reached its peak. I had to leave this place. I do not belong here! How can I leave this body? I took a deep breath as I tried to detach myself. I managed to exist without being aware of my human form. I should be able to leave it, and it should be able to move on without me. How do I leave this body? I screamed in anger at the realization that I was trapped. If I killed this body, would it set me free?

"What are you doing out of bed?" a shocked woman bellowed.

I spun around to face the one who dared to intrude, stopping my eyes just to her white pair of shoes. I kept my head bowed, refusing for her to look upon my face. "I do not belong here," I whispered in an attempt to remain calm.

She gasped. "My god! Look at this mess! You're bleeding! Are you all right?"

I stepped back as I saw her feet move forward. "Do not come near me!" I shrieked at her with my bloody hand raised defensively before me. "Do not look at me!"

"Calm down, love. It's okay! I'm here to help." She was coming closer.

"Do not come near me!" I reached for the rolling table and pushed it towards her. She let out a scream as she avoided the object from hitting her, letting it crash against the wall. "You fool! You have no idea who you are with right now!"

"I-I-I'm getting the doctor," she stammered before leaving the room.

I looked around me. Nothing but the isolating white walls surrounded me. The only thing that disrupted the sterile atmosphere in the room was the smear of my blood across the floors, the windows, and on the flimsy sheets.

It was not long when the nurse came back. This time she had two men and another lady flooding the doorway.

"Sweetie," the nurse began slowly. "You have to get back to bed. Allow us to clean you up." The two men were carefully stepping towards me.

"If you know what is good for you, you will keep your distance." My voice was stern and commanding.

"Is your head hurting? Are you feeling any pain anywhere?" the other woman asked. It was the doctor. I could tell by the authority in her voice. I raised my eyes to her shoulders. The white coat that cloaked her broad body and her name badge identified her. "Just calm down, okay?"

"You will keep your distance," I hissed again, keeping my head bowed to avoid eye contact. "Let me leave."

"We can't do that," the doctor said. "You're in no condition."

Without warning the two orderlies came to me. "Stay back!" I yelled. Before I had a chance to push them away, they both grabbed my arms and restrained them behind me. "How dare you touch me!" I struggled to break free. They were strong and I could not even free an arm. My anger was boiling deep within me. I did not care whether it was their time or not, I wanted to take their lives. I wanted to kill them. If I were not trapped in this vessel, I would have taken them by now. In one embrace they would be dead. But I had no control! I continued to struggle. One of the orderlies tightened his grip around my wrists, reminding me of the pain from my bleeding hand. I gasped. Then I saw the doctor come near me with a syringe. "This will relax you," she told me.

I struggled and shrieked as these humans violated the purity of my bloodstream once again. It was not long until everything I saw shook into obscurity. I narrowed my eyes towards the doctor as I felt this body weaken even more. "One day, I will come back for you." My stare drilled harder into her. I saw her face drain from all colour. Pleased that, in spite of my human form, I still had the power to invoke terror. "When I do come back, you will know who I am." I heard my own laughter before I slipped into complete darkness.