DEATH'S HEART

Chapter 19 (Radish Fiction Version)

It was dark outside when my eyes finally opened. I was staring back at the dreary ceiling of my room. The stench of disinfectant lingered in the air. How did people breathe this tainted air? I looked out the window, and I caught the full moon watching me. I tilted my head in wonder. How many nights since my last awakening had the moon been taking vigil on me. A day? Two? Four? I sat up, and scanned my surroundings. Nothing had changed, except the dextrose tubes were no longer attached to me. I felt some sense of freedom not being bound by that despicable thing. I cringed at the thought of fluid being forced into my bloodstream while I had been here. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed then carefully pushed myself off. My feet padded across the cold floors towards the door. I could hear the tapping of shoes from the other side of the door. Slowly and quietly, I turned the knob. Light touched my face as soon as the door opened. I stuck my head out. I saw no one, but the sound of footsteps, and murmurs of idle chitchat continued to linger from somewhere. I too a a step forward; now part of me was outside my confinement, violating the boundary between freedom and captivity. I wondered if the souls who were taken to the Paths thought and felt the same when they leave and step into my world to be free. How ironic. The Paths were meant to free them from the past, but some souls chose to walk on the cracked land of death. Did they think that to be earth-bound was their freedom from dying? I chuckled under my breath at the thought...If that even made sense.

Slowly, I walked through the empty corridors. It must be late. If there were patients behind these closed doors, they would be asleep. I glanced at the bottom of the doors and saw no light spilling from underneath the cracks. With these ordinary ears, it was unusually quiet. I wrinkled my forehead in deep concentration, hoping to tap into the very core of myself. If I could get past the boundary of being human, and be Death, I would hear the waning of a beating heart. I shook my head. For that dreadful time being , I was human. That did not mean I would stop finding a way to be both simultaneously once again though. It was unfortunate that while I walked in this body, the vessels would remain unbroken for every waking moment I had. What a burden that was going to be for both humans and the Hoy. Maybe Azrael would be sent down to in my absence once again. It was a cosmic joke really. I raised my head to the heavens, only to be looked down upon by the white ceiling. I chuckled at my misfortune. I could be human while I was Death but I could not be Death while being human. I just shook my head. My vision continued to wander around while my feet trudged across the white vinyl floors. Even my eyes had become blind. My skin numb. I usually could see and sense earth-bound souls stroll around hospitals. This time, I felt disadvantaged. I knew that they could see me, while I had no clue where they were. Although, as an ordinary girl, I wondered if the sensed who and what I really was. If they knew, I could only presume that they would have attacked me at my most vulnerable state by now. I could also presume that they would keep their distance for my true nature is still Death, regardless.

In my short stroll towards the end of the corridor, I noticed the sign that indicated the ladies room. Without any real purpose, I entered the room and locked the door behind me. My reflection on the mirror greeted me. My fingers clawed through the tangles of my disheveled hair. Underneath the strong fluorescent lights, the scarlet highlights lining the strands were more obvious. With my dark hair framing my face, I looked even paler. I touched the patch of dressing that covered the wound above my right brow. The desire to peel that piece of cotton wool crossed my mind, curious of how much damage was hiding underneath. I decided to leave it alone, and let my fingers crawl to the bruise that was still evident on my cheekbone. The swelling had gone down from its original size, but there was still some swelling and throbbing pain left. I just laughed.

Aaaahh! My dear Kurt, I thought fondly, recalling the intense terror that was written all over his stoned face when he saw two of me. The idiot probably thought that if he killed one entity, he had handicapped the other. My smile faded. Well, I was handicapped in a way, but not because of him. I leaned closer towards the mirror, and looked deeper at the shades of violet that painted the windows to my being. My smile crept back on my face, along with a sinister gleam that sparkled in my eyes. I did not know where he was at present but rest assured, I would find him when the time came. How many ways were there to skin a cat? Really, how many? Would there be the same amount of ways to take a soul? You will have your day, I said ominously in my head. If Kurt could hear my thoughts, wherever god-forsaken hell he was, he would be shivering at the frosty daggers my anger was wanting to throw at him that very moment. My grip on the side of the basin tightened to the point that I felt pain at my fingertips. Instantly, I let go. I stared at my hands. My fingers were tight, and they were ready to hurt someone. It was disconcerting to realise how much I had allowed my fury for one man consume me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I squinted at my reflection disdainfully. In this body, every emotion was magnified. This was what I had been reduced to. I looked away and my chest started to heave heavily. My heart tightened and I felt my teeth clench. I had no control. I shut my eyes tightly as I tried to keep my breathing steady. I tried to purge Kurt from my mind. My whole body was shaking.