How? Why? NO!

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Devin's POV

I'm doing it. I'm so doing it. I made up my mind as I paced the living room. Mrs. Olson just left...I think she's going on a date. I couldn't here any noise from up stairs. I hope ricky isn't asleep. I made my way to the staircase. I made myself visible, I looked down. I forgot I was wearing his clothes. We are almost the same size. His t-shirt looked nice on me. Damn it devin, stay on topic. I peaked around the door frame of ricky's room. He was on his bed, laptop on his lap and his hand going through his hair. He looked so beautiful, his long black hair really brought out his pale skin and blue eyes. My eyes traveled his body with great lust. He looked up startling me. He looked frightened. Like he had seen someone die.....

I fully stepped into view. Ricky shoved off his laptop, throwing his lags over the side of the bed. "Are you devin?" I nodded looking into his eyes. He looked conflicted. "We did you kill your parents?" I cringed and hung my head. I felt my eyes well up with tears. "I just killed my dad....he killed my mom...." I stated shifting my weight from foot to foot. I heard no noise expect ricky moving. "Then people are lying....I believe you." I looked up through my bangs. His smile brightened the room. "Thank you ricky...." I looked him in the eyes. So many emotions flashed through his eyes. "Would you mind if I asked you a question?" Ricky shifted, pulling his hands in front of him. He messed with his fingers. He looked cute when he's nervous. "You just did." I laughed, ricky smiled as he thought about it.

"Go ahead ask away!" I said with excitement. I'm so excited, he's the first person I've talked to in a while. He sat back on his bed and patted the spot next to him. I looked at him confused. "Come sit with me. You look uncomfortable." Ricky stated with looking me up and down. I nodded and walked silently over to the bed. I sat straight in front of him pulling my legs up to my chest. He sat with his legs crossed looking at my form. "Sorry it's a comfort thing." He nodded and thought for a moment.

"Ask anything you want. I will answer at best. Somethings may be hard but I will answer. You deserve to know...." I smiled sadly at the beautiful boy sat in front of me. He gave me the same look back. He touched his face deep in thought. A piece of his hair feel forward. He brushed it back, not bothering him at all. I kept mine kinda short but I still enjoyed it kinda long too. It made me look more female. I looked at ricky again, he was already looking at me. "You okay? You kinda zoned out." He looked worried. His pale hand reached for my pale and cold face. He was so warm. I haven't felt warmth in so long. I leaned in towards his hand. I closed my eyes and took in his warmth.

"Why did you commit suicide?" He asked, placing his other hand on my face. I kept my eyes closed and thought. "I didn't want to be alive anymore. I hated living. I always wanted to die, when my mom died...or i should say was killed I gave up. She was the only one who loved me.....accepted me.....believed in me." I opened my eyes to look at ricky. Tears were streaming down his pale cheeks. "Why was she the only one?" He asked sniffling. I closed my eyes once again. "My family were very against gays, crossdressing, and my type of music. I didn't have any friends. I had one boyfriend but he left me." I placed my hands on his. "Mine is the same way....my mom is the only one who accepts me being gay and can stand my music." Ricky spoke sadly. I looked at him. He was looking down at his lap. His hands slipped down to his lap. Mine fell to mine as well. We stayed quite. A knock made both of us jump. "Stay here I will see who it is." I nodded to ricky, he leaped of his bed. He ran out of the room, his feet echoed of the walls. I stayed there while he went downstairs. The front door opened
and I could hear talking. I zoned out and placed my hands on my face. I can still feel his warmth.

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Hey! Thank you so much for reading this story. I am so sorry I haven't been updating. I haven't been on wattpad in a while. I'm on summer vacation so I haven't been doing shit lol. Love you guys!!!!!

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