I bounced my leg up and down anxiously as I waited for the stick on the counter to finish determining if I was pregnant or not. Hopefully I saw the results I've been waiting for. Once it was time, I picked it up with wishful thinking then looked at it. Negative. I furrowed my brows and threw it in the bin. Walking out into the living room, I sat down, sinking into the couch, and sulked. When my husband Jin came home, he had a large smile on his face.
"So? Do you have good news?" Once he saw the look on my face, his smile fell. "I take that as a no," He said. Once he got settled in, he sighed and sat next to me.
"Maybe there's something wrong with me," I said.
"No, there can't be. There's a possibility of not getting pregnant, maybe we're just getting the odds." He put his arm around me and gave me a reassuring look.
"I want to go to the doctors. We've tried so many times, and every time has been unsuccessful." I looked down at my hands in my lap.
"Whatever you want to do," Jin said.
I was able to get into the doctors the next day to figure out why I wasn't getting pregnant.
"Mrs.Kim, I found your problem. You have an unusually shaped uterus making it hard for the egg to attach itself. And if it did, it probably wouldn't survive past 3 weeks. Now, this can be an easy fix, just some simple surgery to reconstruct-"
"Surgery?!" Jin panicked.
"Yes, we can go in there and reconstruct her uterus. But, there is a 50% chance that it won't work," The doctor said.
My heart beat faster and Jin squeezed my hand.
"If you make a decision today, we can get you in by next week."
"Alright, can we have a moment?" I asked quietly.
The doctor nodded. "I'll be back in 10 minutes."
Once the doctor left, Jin shook his head. "No," He said. "I don't want you to get the surgery."
"But it's the only way we'll be able to have children," I said.
"Didn't you hear the doctor? She said it might not work."
I sighed and stated silent.
"I just don't want you to go through that and it not even work."
"But I know how much you want kids, so don't you want to try? We have a 50-50 chance."
"I know that (Y/n), but in our earlier years when we were dating, you said you didn't really care if we had kids, but if I did, then we could have some-"
"And we can!" I cut him off. "I just want to make you happy. I feel like a failure as a wife because I can't even provide my husband with a family." My eyes started watering.
"We don't have to, I don't want you to feel like you have to get the surgery just for me. I'm telling you right now, you don't have to do this," He said, looking into my eyes.
I knew he was being truthfull because he wants to protect me, but I could tell he was hurt.
"Fine," I said.
The next day, I laid in bed all day. Jin kept trying to get me to get up, but I would move. He eventually stopped when he had to go to work, and I remained there until he came home.
"I know you're probably still upset, but let's go out tonight, okay?" Jin offered.
I was getting a little depressed just laying there, so I agreed. After our nice dinner, we came home and had some sexy time to lighten the mood. I didn't bother taking another pregancy text because I already knew the answer. Or at least I thought.
