internet friends // 5 seconds of summer

0.8

internet friends // 5 seconds of summer

0.8

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alice's pov:

"Alice, have you gotten your grades back yet?" My mother calls from downstairs. Sometimes I think she's evil, but Anna says she only wants what's best. Anna doesn't know what she's done to me.

My father is coming back home soon. I don't really want him to because he is very mean to me. It's okay though, because I know he only wants what's best for me. Maria told me he shouldn't do what he does, no matter how good his intentions are. I can't tell Anna because if I did she would probably tell me to call 911.

I don't have a bad life, I am very fortunate and thankful to live in a first world country where I have a roof over my head and food on the table. My mother and father aren't always nice to me, but it's okay because it's like that in every family, right? As long as I get good grades and obey their rules it's okay.

Taking the blue piece of paper in my folder out, I rush downstairs, almost tripping over my feet, and hand it to my mother. I didn't have time to read my grades, so I squeeze my eyes shut, and hope for the best. "I have never been more disappointed in you," My mothers words are calm, but hold an excruciating amount of anger and venom.

"I'm sorry--" I begin to apologize, but am quickly cut off by a harsh slap in my face. Holding a straight face, I try my best to show no emotion whatsoever. My cheeks burn and I want to cry, but there is no time for that, because before I know it, I am being thrown against the wall. I slide down the cream colored wall to the hardwood floor.

My mother glares at me, a look of complete and utter disgust is written across her face, "Maybe that will teach you to get off you phone and study more." She seethes, before exiting the room, leaving me alone with tears streaming down my face.

It has been years since my mother has hit me. The first time I was seven years old. She was angry with me because I accidentally broke her favorite vase. She was also stressed out about some other things, but I won't bring that up now. At that age, I was too young to understand. I remember the last time she hit me. I was thirteen and I got caught drinking her wine. Oops?

Reaching my hand up to my face, a burning sensation passes through me. I slowly stand up, hot tears flowing down my cheeks. I don't care enough to wipe them away as I trudge up the stairs to study so I can avoid something like that happening again. I know I deserve it, but I wish it wouldn't happen.

Me: hey guys

mikey: hey alice in wonderland what's up?

Me: the sky

Me: can i talk to you guys about something

ashton: Sure

anna: what's on your mind ?

Me: ive only ever told maria so this is kinda hard to say

Me: i just need to talk about it ig

mariaa: i heard my name

Me: so like

Me: ugh

Me: my parents used to hit me

Me: and like

Me: ugh

anna: ohmygod

ashton: Alice, you need to call the police

Me: NO

maria: ):

lukee: *)-:

mikey: shut up luke

anna: call nine one fucking one why the hell is everyone just sitting here she could be fucking dead what the actual fuck why the hell is everyone being so lazy i thought this country actually had a fucking future but obviously not hell with this im calling 911 fuck you guys for not giving a shit when she could be dead

anna: alice whats your address im calling 911

Me: anna

Me: no

Me: calm down

Me: its okay

Me: im fine

ashton: Bullshit

mikey: when was the last time in happened

Me: uh

Me: just a few minutes ago

Me: but im okay now i swear

Me: i gtg

Me: ily guys

anna: ily2

maria: we all love you so much

ashton: stay strong

mikey: be safe

trigger warning (self harm)

Throwing down my phone, I make my way into the bathroom, almost as if I am in a trance. Locking the door shut, my eyes drift over to the drawer that holds a shiny sliver piece of metal, I used to call my friend. It's been awhile since I have done this and I am not sure I want to do it again. Why am I even considering this? What's the point? Release? Punishment?

Maybe if I hurt myself, I won't want to feel more pain and I'll do better on my next test. This is my punishment for failing. I need this so I won't do it again, so my mother will be proud of me, my father will no longer care, the group chat won't worry, and maybe I will be happy.

Before I can even process my thoughts, a crimson red liquid is oozing out of my skin. It doesn't really hurt, as I am mostly numb. So much for three months clean. It's okay, I need this punishment. I wonder what would happen if I cut a vein. Would I die? Would I care enough to try to stop myself from dying? My intention isn't to kill myself, but I am not sure if I would care if it gets to the point.

When I was five years old, my father took my younger sister and I out of ice cream. We were on vacation at the beach and my mother was out with my older sister. I don't know where they were or what they were doing, because my father told us that it was only for grownups. I have spent a long time trying to figure what it was they were doing. Anyways, I dropped my ice cream and a nice old man came up to me and showed me a magic trick so I wouldn't be upset.

I hope I grow up to be like that nice old man and show magic tricks to little girls and boys who drop their ice cream. I hope I live past twenty-four so I can see all the people I love become successful and live great lives. I hope everyone one day realizes how important little things like ice cream and magic tricks are. I hope that everyone will be happy someday soon.

a/n hiii everyone i hope youre all doing amazing and fantastic and that youre all having a great day

what do you think alices father did to her ?

what's your favorite color ??

ily all sm

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- ariel xx