Hetalia x Reader one shots

You're Too Perfect: Teacher!England x Self-Harm!Suicidal!Reader

Serious Trigger Warning:
Self Harm, Suicide, Smoking, & Some Morbid topics

PLEASE read at your own risk.

You tightly bit your lip, dragging the old metal blade across your scarred wrist. You hated what you had become.  You felt useless. Like a waste of space. A let down. All you saw in yourself was pain.

And sometimes you had to let it out.

As beads of blood quickly became streams, you pulled out a gauze pad and taped it to your wrist. The cutting started as a distraction; every time you thought about killing yourself, you harmed yourself to get your mind off the topic. However, it had become a habit. An addiction. It gave you relief to feel pain. You got up in the morning, and cut. You went to the bathroom, and cut. You came home from whatever you were doing that day, and cut. You brushed your teeth, and you cut. It was your heroine.

Yanking your black sleeve over the gauze pad, you stood up. After walking to the door, you paused in the doorway and closed your eyes. When you opened them again, you had plastered on the perfect "I'm fine" smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     You went to three classes, before a couple addictions tugged at you. Working on quiz you were doing helped you forget, but it was a purely temporary solution. You tapped your pencil, slowly becoming faster as the needs clouded your brain. Finally, you couldn't take it.

     "Excuse me?" You said shyly, standing in front of your English teacher, Mr. Kirkland's, desk.

     "Ah yes, (f/n)." He put down his book and took off his reading glasses. "How can I help you?"

     "May I use the restroom? I finished the assignment." You looked at your beat-up shoes.

     "Of course." He nodded. However, he got a puzzled look when he noticed you taking a bag from your desk. You quickly made it back up to his desk and told him your classic excuse.

     "Feminine issues."

     You could've sworn you saw him blush. You opened the door gently, and closed it. After walking a bit, making it to the closest restroom, and locking a stall door, you relaxed completely. You opened your bag and pulled out a little box of mints. Inside was your favorite blade and a roll of bandages. After  slicing your wrist, releasing ecstasy as you did so, you wrapped up your wrist and put it all back. You searched your bag for your other item, and quickly found it.

     A box of cigarettes.

     The smoking started when you were 14. You heard smoking made you relax, and you decided to steal some from your local store. It wasn't what you expected, but the nicotine did it's job, and you were addicted in no time.

     After lighting up, you stood on the toilet and breathed out the smoke into the air conditioning vent. After finishing up the cigarette, you sighed, flushed the butt, and unlocked the stall door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Mr. Kirkland squinted as you came back in. You looked innocent enough, with your perfect fake smile, but something was off. Girls don't take that long in the restroom, even when it's that time of the month. He made a note to talk to you after class. You were his favorite student, and he had a bad feeling.