Stuck at the cross roads

She doesnt know

Olivia's POV
I have been standing outside for 15 minutes. I really want to go in but I don't want to talk to him. Don't want to hear him talk about Kathy. I want to know why he left. Okay that's it, I will go in, ask some questions and leave. That's it.

"Hi Elliot." I say measly.
" Hey Olivia" he replies with a glint in his eye. 
" Look I have to be back soon my baby sitter...." I stop myself, I didn't want him to know anything about my life. I can't back out now I look up at him and he is staring at me wide eyed.
" Olivia congratulations, you and Tucker had a baby huh! Wow" he says with too much enthusiasm.

Elliots POV
She has had a baby with Tucker. The guy who tore us down for 12 years.
" Elliot, he isn't Tuckers. Actually I adopted him a couple of years ago." She sounds so hesitant. " I'm sorry to make you think it was Tuckers, not that it should matter"
"Liv I'm so happy for you, I always knew you'd make and amazing mum"

We haven't said anything for 5 minutes.

" why did you leave me?" She says so faintly that I almost can't hear her.
" I didn't leave you, I left the job Liv."
" You left me too. I had to hear it from captain that you left. Do you know how that felt? How much it hurt?"
"Liv.. I..."
" Elliot, you weren't just my partner, you were my best friend. I out my life in your hands and you just deserted me like i never meant anything to you, like I was just some inanimate object."
" you know that's not true Liv. I wanted to answer your calls, I wanted to tell you but I couldn't."
"Couldn't, or wouldn't? There's a difference Elliot." I look at her and my hearts breaks, she isn't crying, but I can see the tears in her Eye lids.
" both I guess. I would tell you because I knew you would try and get me to stay and probably succeed. I couldn't call you because I could face hearing your voice after I betrayed you like that."
"  I don't know what's worse, the fact that you knew you betrayed but ignore me any way or the fact that you left without a trace"
" Liv lets go for a walk"

No ones POV
Olivia's and Elliot step out of the restaurant. It's silent but it's comfortable. In instinct Elliot picks up Olivia's hand, reloading what he's done he goes to release it but she just holds on.

Olivia's POV
Why did I hold his hand, I should have let go. We're not close enough any more!!
" How's Kathy and the kids?" Shit why did I ask that, habit I guess.
" the kids are good, all grown up now. I wouldn't really know about Kathy"
" that's great, why not?"
" we divorced a year after I left the squad, she said when I left SVU I left behind part of myself.whatever that means"
" oh I'm sorry, you'll find that missing piece"
" I think I already have Liv"
What does that mean, does he mean me? He can't mean me.