Stuck at the cross roads

Shes fine...

Olivia's POV
"Liv?"
What the hell am I supposed to say to that. Yeah that's fine, I totally understand? I don't think so. Does he love me, was I the part he left behind? Why am I talking to myself.
"Liv?" Elliot repeats
"Um, yeah?" Stay calm liv
" are you okay?" He sounds so worried, I can't do this I need to go.
"See you"
I get up and walk off, I can't hear his footsteps behind me but in just need to be alone. Run liv as fast as you can.
"Liv, please. Just wait please liv" he sounds like he crying, he can't be crying. I can't walk off and leaving like this. I stop running do I go back or keep walking away.
"Liv." Elliot tries but he seems defeated.
I turn around and run to him, embracing and not wanting to let go.

Elliot's POV
  We are hugging, what is going on? One minute she is running away from me that she is running to me. Shel explain or maybe it's me that's has to explain. Either way it will be fine, it has to be fine.
"Elliot I....i...."  Her voice is shaking
"What is it liv? Are you okay?"
"It doesn't matter really" she lets go and goes to walk away again.
I grab her hand and spin her round, it's now or never shall I tell her how I feel then kiss her or kiss her first and then tell her?
"Elliot what."

Olivia's  POV
"Elliot what" I say with slight frustration because he is just staring at me.
"Elliot, seroui..."
He's kissing me, THE Elliot stabler is kissing me. What do I do? Kiss him back then pull away or pull away.

Elliot's POV
THE Olivia benson is kissing me back, I thought she was gonna push me away. I love her, she's pulling back, is she changing her mind? She can't be changing her mind.

"I've loved you from the day I met you I always have. Kathy was so jealous because she knew that deep down that I cared for you more than I did for her. I can't Believe I just said that just popped out.
"Elliot I just... I don't know I just... I really love you but I don't know if I can. After William Lewis, it took me ages to trust again, I even found it hard to trust Brian and I was with him months before it happened. Then Ed ... He was there for the investigation, trial and everything else. We just kind of clicked. Seeing you the other day just bought back everything...everything I was before and everything I want to be. And I've been waiting to hear say that for so long... every time you and Kathy were on a break or separated I just hoped that would be the time... And now that I hear you say, it is amazing but I'm terrified....You you left me once before, who says you won't do it again. I love you so much, I always have but I don't know I can trust you to be there for me and for Noah. It's not just be anymore."

I've been looking her eyes and i finally see what I have done to to her. I hate myself but I want to prove to her, I have to. I broke Olivia Benson when I left, and then I wasn't there when she needed me. She will trust me again even if it kills me.

Olivia's POV
I have just out my heart and soul on a platter and he just looking at me.
" Elliot, are you going to anything?" I say with such hope.
"You don't trust me? Fine. You love me? That's the best news ever. I know you have Noah to think of, and I promise I won't hurt him or you. I walked away from you and I want to say I wish I didn't but I'm glad I did."
"What the hell, Elliot?"
"I'm glad I left because if I hadn't we would still be dancing round the truth, I would probably still be with Kathy because you wouldn't let me throw it away. You wouldn't have Noah, you wouldn't have had two relationships because I would have probably have sabotaged them. You wouldn't be the the commanding officer of the special victims unit. If I hadn't left we wouldn't have grown in the people we are today"
"If you hadn't left, Lewis wouldn't have kidnapped me the second time. I would have been found sooner, if you hadn't left I wouldn't of been so broken!" Liv says in the quietest voice.
"Liv, I'm so sorry about William Lewis, if I had the chance, I would have killed him. Knowing that you wen through that is the worst thing ever, knowing that I couldn't protect you or be the one you ran to after you were found. Knowing I couldn't be your hero, that killed me. We are together now, we need to make the most of what is happening now, I will do anything to earn your trust... I don't want to be what we were like before, I want us to be more than partners and best friends. I want to marry you one day Liv."
What do I say to that. I just want to kiss him but I don't want him to think I am ready for more, even though I want more.

Tuckers POV
"Walking through Central Park to clear my head, I would never have done this before I was with Liv"
" I lost the best woman I ever knew. Now I am just going to big bag lieutenant Tucker again. Why am I talking out loud to myself."
As I look up I can to people making out in the park, I laugh because it reminds of me and Liv when we took Noah to the park. I keep walking, as I closer I see the couple is actually Benson and stabler.. I mean Liv and Elliot. What the hell!!

Elliot's POV
We are kissing again, this time it was on Liv.
"El, we should stop, I have to go for Noah." Liv says as she pulls away from me.
As I look up I see Tucker. "Liv, urm , Tucker is behind you."
" oh yeah very funny" Liv says.
"Liv seriously"
As she turns around she releases my hand.
"Hi Ed. everything okay?"
" well if it isn't Benson and Stabler, don't stop on my account."
"Seriously , your going to be that petty?"
" stabler, do you have any idea what she has been through? I don't think you do. She was burned, heated and almost r...."
" ED, STOP NOW, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT" Livs voice is shaking, what doesn't she want me to know?
" No right, I was there for you Olivia, he wasn't."
" Your right Tucker, I wasn't there for her, but I am now."
" I don't need this right now, I am going home to my son"

Olivia's POV
"What the hell have I got myself into." I say to myself.